Five Minute Friday – See

It’s Five Minute Friday!  My favorite writing time of the week.

Last time (way back in early December) the word was FIGHT.

Today’s writing prompt is… SEE.

five minute friday see

Five Minute Friday

If they could just SEE me.  Really see me…. they’d… things…. well… it would be different.

Even now, I can remember the desperate wish of my 16 year old self.  I wanted, more than anything else, to be heard and seen and understood.  I wanted someone to look beyond the mask of makeup and hairspray and angst to see the confused and lonely girl hiding underneath.

If they could ever SEE what I was thinking… they’d… well… they’d be sorry.

Even now, I can remember the hours I spent pouring my heart into words, wrapping my scariest feelings in the enigma that is bad poetry.  I wanted so much for someone to see it and accept the words I could never speak.  But I feared discovery, I feared that if anyone ever saw they wouldn’t understand.  I feared being unlovely.

I remember being torn between the desperate desire to be seen for who and what I was and and loved for it, and the fear that if anyone ever really saw my true self that they would run away.

Looking back, it seems so easy.

No matter how much I hid behind my mask or buried my thoughts, I was still seen and known.  God knew me.  He’s known me since He knit my bones inside my mother’s womb.  He knows the count of every hair upon my head.  He knows every tear I’ve shed.    God sees me.  He sees past the the public face and straight into my heart.   And he loves me.

But at 16, I couldn’t see that truth.

I see it now.

Now that they see me… really see me… they love me more.

1 john 3 1

STOP.

Five Minute Friday  is hosted by Lisa-Jo Baker at The Gypsy Mama. Five minutes of free writing flash mob goodness.

If you aren’t familiar, the rules are simple.  Lisa-Jo gives a single word writing prompt every Friday.  Each of us have five minutes to write and post.  No editing, no second guessing, no fancy stuff.  Just plain writing – straight from the heart. (click HERE for the official rules and details).  Then we go visit other participants and shower them with comment love

Five Minute Friday

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Susan Baker
I have a passion for encouraging weary worn out mothers to find joy in everyday motherhood and peace in unlikely places. I have two elementary school boys, one nerdy husband, and two cats. I have a strange fascination for bad puns, the color pink, socks, and books. I worry about running out of toilet paper, wine, and chocolate.. I serve an amazing God. I live an ordinary life filled with wonder.
Susan Baker
Susan Baker

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Comments

  1. I love this post. Thank you for sharing your heart with all of us. I also wondered if I was seen as teenager. I hid behind books and trying to be a "good girl" and do what my parents expected of me. I am glad that God saw me then, and that he sees me now as a recovering people pleaser. I hope you have a lovely weekend.

  2. Beth Nance Hildebrand says:

    Great reflecting and writing and I understand the beautiful transformation we're given through Christ to see His glory and the way He sees us! Thanks for sharing! Blessings!

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