It’s Five Minute Friday! My favorite writing time of the week.
Last time (way back in early December) the word was FIGHT.
Today’s writing prompt is… SEE.
Five Minute Friday
If they could just SEE me. Really see me…. they’d… things…. well… it would be different.
Even now, I can remember the desperate wish of my 16 year old self. I wanted, more than anything else, to be heard and seen and understood. I wanted someone to look beyond the mask of makeup and hairspray and angst to see the confused and lonely girl hiding underneath.
If they could ever SEE what I was thinking… they’d… well… they’d be sorry.
Even now, I can remember the hours I spent pouring my heart into words, wrapping my scariest feelings in the enigma that is bad poetry. I wanted so much for someone to see it and accept the words I could never speak. But I feared discovery, I feared that if anyone ever saw they wouldn’t understand. I feared being unlovely.
I remember being torn between the desperate desire to be seen for who and what I was and and loved for it, and the fear that if anyone ever really saw my true self that they would run away.
Looking back, it seems so easy.
No matter how much I hid behind my mask or buried my thoughts, I was still seen and known. God knew me. He’s known me since He knit my bones inside my mother’s womb. He knows the count of every hair upon my head. He knows every tear I’ve shed. God sees me. He sees past the the public face and straight into my heart. And he loves me.
But at 16, I couldn’t see that truth.
I see it now.
Now that they see me… really see me… they love me more.
Five Minute Friday is hosted by Lisa-Jo Baker at The Gypsy Mama. Five minutes of free writing flash mob goodness.
If you aren’t familiar, the rules are simple. Lisa-Jo gives a single word writing prompt every Friday. Each of us have five minutes to write and post. No editing, no second guessing, no fancy stuff. Just plain writing – straight from the heart. (click HERE for the official rules and details). Then we go visit other participants and shower them with comment love