Five Minute Friday – Change

5 minute fridayI participate in “Five Minute Friday” from Lisa Jo Baker’s Tales from a Gypsy Mama blog.  She provides a writing prompt, and I have five minutes to write to that subject.  No editing, no fussing.  Just. write.

People all over the web join in the free-writing exercise.  You can too.   I’d love to see your writing in the comments of her page or shared on your blog.  Just let me know what to look for and I’ll cheer you on.

Last week, I wrote about “join.”
Today, I write about “CHANGE.”

READY SET GO
CHANGE.

Queue David Bowie

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Oh, look out you rock ‘n rollers
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Pretty soon you’re gonna get a little older
Time may change me
But I can’t trace time
I said that time may change me
But I can’t trace time

Oh how I’ve changed.

I just ran into an old co-worker at the coffee shop.  I could see it in his eyes.

He first knew me when I was hard-edged and corporate.  I dressed in heels and a blazer each day.

Even on casual Fridays.

He worked with me through two pregnancies.  He watched my wardrobe shift gradually to the last remaining pair of maternity pants that fit with one of three tops that covered my giant swollen belly.  He watched silk blouses give way too practical fabrics that hid baby spit.  He watched high heels give way to practical shoes that comforted  my swollen prego feet.

He cheered me on when I left to be a full time mom to two babies.

Fast forward seven years.

I’m in mom clothes.  The stained workout shorts, the shirt with a peanut butter kiss, the tennis shoes… that was me.

Oh how I have changed.

No longer hard-edged and corporate, I am softer now.  Rounder on the outside, but… much softer inside.  He saw it all in a glance, I could see it in his eyes.

Where once I would have been fearless and business like… where once I would have viewed myself as his peer… suddenly, I was not.

I was naked.  Just a mom.

I used to have a life regimented by 50 minute meetings scheduled back to back (with time scheduled in between for potty breaks).  The rhythm of my life was set by conference calls and project schedules.

Now, I have time.  I push back the schedule of the morning to squeeze five minutes in to listen to my child’s worries.  I gently reschedule my errands to accommodate my husband.  I flex the dinner hour around the end of a favorite movie, or one more chapter in a book, or to finish the front yard soccer game.  And the world stops for me when I need to potty.

He could see that in a glance, because his wife lives in my world. He knew.

And he smiled.

STOP.

Joining in to Five Minute Friday was the best blogging decision I could have ever made!  Please join me.  I’d love to read what you write.

That’s it for Five Minute Friday.

Five Minute Friday

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Susan Baker
I have a passion for encouraging weary worn out mothers to find joy in everyday motherhood and peace in unlikely places. I have two elementary school boys, one nerdy husband, and two cats. I have a strange fascination for bad puns, the color pink, socks, and books. I worry about running out of toilet paper, wine, and chocolate.. I serve an amazing God. I live an ordinary life filled with wonder.
Susan Baker
Susan Baker

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Comments

  1. That was lovely! I smiled and saw you standing there next to me in the coffee shop, both of us in finest mommy-apparel. And happy for the changes, indeed. Great five minutes!

    • I was crying while I typed. I LOVE being a stay at home mom and I don’t regret my choice. But writing about it just turned on the waterworks for some reason. Thanks. Glad I’m not alone in the coffee shop.

      • Holly Jahangiri says:

        Got my waterworks turned on, too.

        That you could even write the words “just a mom,” as if there were such a thing… you know, there’s a saying that “The hand that rocks the cradle rocks the world.” Those 50-minute meetings were never half as important, in the grand scheme of things. 😉

        • Most of those meetings were flat out boring… not important at all. Do you think I’d go back to that for anything? Nope.

          I know “just a mom” is such a debilitating phrase. I normally don’t think of myself that way. You know that. But at that moment… I felt undone. Sorry for the waterworks.

  2. I can totally relate to this post. While God hasn’t called me to the stay at home lifestyle yet (though I am praying He will soon!), I too know just how much I’ve changed since becoming a mommy, and you know what? I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

    Visiting from 5 Minute Friday!

    • Heather, I went back to work after each child was born. My oldest spent the first two years of his life in daycare. I hadn’t planned on being a SAHM, but God had other plans. But whether a mom gets a paycheck or not… motherhood changes all of us. We become more family centered and less focused on the career. God honors that. Your momma heart pleases Him so much!

      I’m in awe of the women who can balance working for a paycheck with all the demands of their family. I honestly can’t get it all done.

  3. Becky Daye says:

    Oh, this made my heart happy! I am all too familiar with this change- I love how you described the change as a softening. When one of my “babies” snuggles with me, I always thank God for this softening that has occurred in my life!
    Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful!

    • squeee! I’m glad I could make your heart happy. I am so thankful I’m a softer person than I used to be. I think my tears as I wrote this weren’t for who I’ve become… they were over who I used to be when I was so hard edged and unfeeling. I hurt for the woman I used to be.

      Love baby snuggles. Always make time for baby snuggles.

  4. Being a mom certainly changes everything. It’s amazingi how priorities. However, I would like to know how you get the world to stop when you need to go potty? I must have missed that page in the mommy manual!

    • You don’t want that page in the mommy manual!

      During the remodel, we were all piled in a tiny hotel suite with 1 bathroom. I was hit with a bad intestinal bug… twice. When it hit the first time, one of my kids thought it would be funny to run into the bathroom right before me and lock me out. I was humiliated. But my kids now respect the phrase “mommy needs to go to the bathroom — right now!” I think they’re afraid of what will happen.

  5. I used to live that life too Susan and am very happy I changed! Would rather have kid dirt on me than my old stuffy corporate suits anyday! 🙂 BTW – now the Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes is stuck in my head! 🙂

    • Paula, I agree! I wouldn’t trade the kid dirt for all the power suits in the world. I was watching Rugrats the other day and found myself feeling sorry for Angelica’s mom.

      I have the utmost respect for women who can balance work and motherhood with grace.

      (sorry for the old David Bowie song. I tend to think my life deserves it’s own soundtrack.)

  6. Beatiful post, thanks for sharing.

  7. that was so touching babe, (wipes tears away). He knew that you changed and accepted a wonderful life with more rewards than you could possibly imagine.

  8. I don’t have any social groups that I go out to nor do I ever (and I truly mean ever) go out socially but I do belong to the best club in the world – The Motherhood Club. Your post reminded me there is a bond that joins all mothers together and we just get what you were talking about. It was beautiful Susan.

    • Tracey, before I had kids I could not fathom the whole Motherhood Club thing. But you’re right – it’s the best club out there.

  9. Your writing is lovely and I love this writing prompt idea. I must give it a go some time!!

    Sarah
    http://www.acatlikecuriosity.blogspot.co.uk

    • Thank you for the complement! The weekly writing prompt is my favorite post all week. Its always so rewarding to see what I can write in 5 minutes.

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