Life Without Internet, part 1

Life Without InternetMaybe “life without internet” is a bit harsh.  It’s not exactly accurate either.  But “life without internet other than what I can squeeze out of my phone or find at a cafe” is too long for the title.

Thursday night was wonderful.  I was living the bloggy lifestyle and living it large.

I had a virtual wine tasting with the SitsGirls and Mirassou wines.

I had an awesome webinar with ProBlogger.

For a stay at home mom, that’s a lot of meetings and social interaction in one evening. It rocked.

Then I discovered life without internet.

Friday morning, I woke up to no internet.

Let me repeat that again so the full horror of it sinks in.

I had no access to my blog.  I had no access to twitter.  I had no access to Facebook.

Are you scared yet?

Hubby was pretty casual about it, as if this wasn’t a major catastrophe in my life.
Oh, I rebooted the router this morning.  The internet wasn’t working.

My first thought?

Oh crud, I used up the internet last night having all that fun.

My first thought after coffee?

Oh yikes, I have nothing posted for today.  AND I have a chat for Content Brew at lunchtime. (affiliate link)

I normally have a few posts in queue (finished, but not scheduled) so I can keep things going if I wake up to sick kids or some other crisis.

But an awesome week of Content Brew had tapped out my queue of finished posts.

Besides, Fridays are for free writing. I like it that way.

So I grabbed my laptop and headed to hunt wifi.

I got my wifi fix and got my free writing posted.  I made a few comments on my favorite blogs.

Then I returned home to try and get things fixed.

Hubby is a professional networking expert.

His normal job would make your head spin.  So he had armed me with the facts before telling me to call their tech support.

No pressure honey.

I love calling tech support.

(This probably qualifies as the most sarcastic thing I’ve typed all week.  But the stuff about car line was a close second.)

I confess.  I had to call my husband to ask what number to call.  The router (that’s the hardware that lets you connect to the internet) had a WEBSITE for their support, but no PHONE NUMBER.

The irony of that failed to amuse me.

There are normally three stages to the tech support phone call.

Stage 1: I know more than the tech.  I make that clear, and I get passed to their supervisor.

Stage 2: I proceed to explain that my husband has already tried whatever they are asking me to do.

Stage 3:  I get passed on to their expert.  The expert quickly agrees with whatever hubby says needed to happen in the first place.  Hubby gets what he wants.

I have to say, AT&T’s support line rocked.  After breezing through stage 1 via computer automation, I was immediately sent to stage 3.

This is better than the normal 20 minute argument with the tech guys.  They find it incredible that I would actually think to reboot my computer BEFORE calling tech support.

(And yes, I checked to make sure all the wires were plugged in.  Yes, we have electricity.  Yes, we’ve paid the bill.  No, I don’t need a replacement drink holder for the computer.)

Five minutes later, a tech was dispatched.  Nice.

The tech got to our house and stood there for a moment to take in all the neatly organized wires for our home.  I’ve seen the look before.  I see it every time someone has to come work on our stuff.

I quickly explain about structured wiring and what hubby does for a living.  I point out the relevant wires and equipment and assure her that everyone has the same reaction.

After about three minutes, she said she needed to check stuff outside because it was clearly not an equipment issue in the house.

After about five more minutes, she’s in a neighbor’s yard to check “the box.”

This. Is. Not. Good.

Neighbor BB and I don’t get along.  It’s a long sad story and I was wrong.  I apologized.  It didn’t help.

Neighbor BB has the nicest yard on the block.  She waters it by hand and I suspect she cuts it by scissors using moonlight.

When the repair tech comes back, she tells me that there are tree roots growing into the box that provides internet to my house.  There are probably at least eight other families on my block that are having problems with internet or phone or television.

Nice.

Really really nice.

BB is going to freak.  At best case, they’ll be digging up her yard.

Worst case, they’re cutting down a tree.

I don’t think BB even uses the internet.

This isn’t going to be pretty.

Tune in Monday for another installment in “Life Without Internet” to find out how my kids responded.  I think I might talk about their virtual chickens again.

Until then, feel free to share your internet addiction horror stories.  I’ll be happy to moderate comments from my smart phone.

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Susan Baker
I have a passion for encouraging weary worn out mothers to find joy in everyday motherhood and peace in unlikely places. I have two elementary school boys, one nerdy husband, and two cats. I have a strange fascination for bad puns, the color pink, socks, and books. I worry about running out of toilet paper, wine, and chocolate.. I serve an amazing God. I live an ordinary life filled with wonder.
Susan Baker
Susan Baker

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Comments

  1. Oh nooooooes! I hope this gets cleared up soon without BB losing her lawn! PS You know you have to tell the BB story at some point now…the can of worms is open.

    • The BB story isn’t pretty. And I’ll only explain her name in person. She’s a nice lady and I was wrong… Really really wrong.

  2. That’s awful! Sorry to hear about your internet. I would be lost without it! Hope it gets sorted out quickly!

  3. And I have just had my cup of laughter to start the morning. Thanks Susan.

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