It’s 5am and I’m up.

It’s 5am.  The world outside my window is dark.  I’m famously NOT a morning person.  But I’m up.

I’ve been awake for half an hour.  That’s long enough to stagger into the kitchen and make my husband an egg sandwich while the coffee maker worked magic.  It’s long enough for me to stare hopelessly into the warm coffee mug and feel the caffeine steam kiss my face.

Thirty minutes is long enough to remember that I’m not a morning person and to then subsequently remember why I’m up.

5am and im up

It’s 5am.

I normally pronounce that as “five-freaking-o-clock-in-the-morning.”

A lifetime ago, I might just now be crawling into bed after a night of partying.

A different lifetime ago, I was slipping back into bed with a tiny baby, hoping to catch a few winks during the first feeding of a new day.

I’m up.

I may not be a morning person by choice, but I can be out of desperation.

After months of trying to squeeze extra hours into the day I’m willing to try anything.

If my best writing hours of the day are the first ones, then the sooner I start the more I can write.

If I need to finish my writing before nine so I can start working on my knee, then the sooner I start the more I can write.

If I’m not willing to get up at 5am to follow my dream, then perhaps I have the wrong dream.

I first heard Jon Acuff say that a year ago this month.  I was sitting in a room at 5am before my blogging conference officially kicked off.  It was my first #5club meeting.

I’m not a morning person.

In a civilized world, I wouldn’t have to pry myself out of bed until around nine.  I’d be able to lounge in my PJ’s drinking coffee for a good hour before getting dressed.  Brunch would be served around 11.

I’d be able to write in leisure until I was finally ready to face the world around three in the afternoon.

Laugh if you want, but I’m serious.

If I found myself suddenly rich and famous and childless, that’s exactly the kind of schedule I’d keep.

I have no idea how it is that this non-morning-person finds writing is easiest in the morning.  But that’s how it ended up.

But I have a dream.

In spite of the semi-neglected status of my blog these days, the words that show up here are the result of my dream and passion.

(If you haven’t noticed the neglect… trust me, it’s been there.  Squeezing hours in physical therapy in each day has squeezed out a lot of the behind the scenes bloggy stuff.)

For the past two months, I’ve struggled to squeeze my writing in before 9am.  I’ve struggled to try to write outside of my “golden hours” for writing.  I tried moving therapy.  I’ve tried everything you can imagine.

Nothing worked.

For about the past month, I’ve known I needed to get up earlier.  If I need more hours specifically in the morning, then getting up earlier is a pretty obvious answer.

I’ve been hiding from it, but I’ve known this needed to happen.  I knew that it some point, I’d need to choose between the coziness of my bed and my dream.

choose between sleep and dream

Last night, my husband set his alarm clock for 4:30.

I knew then that my time was up.  I could either get up with him or curl up in bed and let go of my dream.

It’s 5am and I’m up.

I’d love to know who else is awake at this hour.

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Susan Baker
I have a passion for encouraging weary worn out mothers to find joy in everyday motherhood and peace in unlikely places. I have two elementary school boys, one nerdy husband, and two cats. I have a strange fascination for bad puns, the color pink, socks, and books. I worry about running out of toilet paper, wine, and chocolate.. I serve an amazing God. I live an ordinary life filled with wonder.
Susan Baker
Susan Baker

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Comments

  1. I absolutely LOVE this post. In the last month or so I have begun getting up earlier (not 5:00 a.m. levels of early, you win that one!) when I have things I need to do in the morning in order to work. You have captured perfectly what that must mean.-Ashley

    • I wouldn’t have made 5club this morning without some help. Hubs turned the bedroom lights on at 4:30. I’m already planning a nap!!

  2. Jennifer Elledge Humphries says:

    Good for you! Just know that you are not alone. Several of us are up doing the same things. We can be like the morning sisters club 🙂

  3. {Kathy} This is a conversation that I have had in my head for some time now. I never regret getting up at 5:00 in the morning during the days that I do. It’s always that first COURAGEOUS moment of putting my feet on the floor to get coffee. If I can do that…..I’m golden. If it weren’t for coffee I’ve decided that all good writing would never, ever happen in my life. I guess I owe my entire career to Juan Valdez.
    Oh yeah….and getting up that early TOTALLY justifies taking a nap later. It’s a beautiful thing.

    • I keep telling myself I’ll be OK if I can just make it to the coffee maker. Would it be cheating to install a coffee machine in the bathroom?

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