Welcome to back to school season and the craziness that accompanies it.
If you’re looking for a little more encouragement, perspective, or just clean fun then I’ve got some great blog posts for you. I’ve rounded up all of my favorite school themed posts in one easy location just to make it easier to find them all.
As a car line veteran, I have a few pointers I’d like to share with the newbies.
As a public service, of course.
I started to write the rules in a slightly different way.
1. We do not talk about car line.
2. We DO NOT talk about car line.
But I decided not to. Instead, I give you this:
The Ten Commandments of Car Line
1. Thou shalt not honk.
2. Thou shalt use thy smartphone responsibly (only when your car is in Neutral or Park).
3. Honor thy school rules. Thy principal and his secretary know best.
4. Thou shalt wait until thy car pulleth away from the curb to ask how thy offspring’s day went.
5. Thy children shalt know the word “hurry” and move accordingly.
6. Thou art not special.
7. Thou shalt place thy claim ticket in thy window.
8. Thou shalt not allow thy car to run out of gas idling in line.
9. Thou shalt plan ahead.
10. Thou shalt stay in thy vehicle.
The Ten Commandments of Car Line – Explained for Dummies
1. Don’t honk. It won’t make my car move. I can’t move forward because… there is a car in front of me! We’re all in line together, and you’ll be really embarrassed to look people in the eye at the next school function if you’re known as “the honker.” The only possible exception is if the car in front of you is “the napper.”
2. Using the smart phone while your car is moving is dumb. Period. Put the phone away before you run over my kid or hit my car, please.
3. You got a memo at the start of the year about how cars flow for drop off and pick up. They told you no left turns were allowed as you exit the school grounds. Follow the rules and quit trying to cut.
4. When you are actively picking up or dropping off, make it snappy. The people behind you don’t want to wait while you give little Suzy a kiss or check Johnny’s backpack for his homework.
5. Kindergarten moms, if your child still needs help getting in and out of the car seat, you may need some speed drills at home. Make it snappy people.
6. See #3 for starters. But I’m also talking to YOU Mrs White European Sedan. I see you every day. You pull up to the visitor lot and park. You walk over and grab your kid and leave. Yes, that’s faster for you. But it adds time for every single other mom behind you.
7. If you can’t keep up with the little numbered colored tag you were issued for your kids, at least make a reasonable attempt. As long as you know the number and have a dry erase marker for the window, no one will get hurt.
8. Hey sis, this one’s for you. (She actually Facebooked that she was afraid she would run out of gas in line… before getting in line!)
9. Go potty and bring a book. M’kay? Mommies who need to potty do not get sent to the front of the line. And doing the “walk of shame” to the front of the school while you leave your unattended car in line? tsk. (see #10).
10. Stay with your car. Pay attention to the time. If the car line starts rolling and you hold up the line because you were chatting, then rule #1 does not apply.
Confession: As a kindergarten mom I violated every single one of these rules. Even #8. Twice.
And I did the walk of shame.
Don’t hate me.
Did I cover all the car line rules? What’s your biggest pet peeve?