Monday Musings – Remodel and Girl Time

Monday MusingsMonday Musings (aka I’m in a chatty mood).

So… I’m not doing a formal women’s Bible study at my church this spring like I normally do.  Instead, I’m watching paint dry.  Literally.

There are three men in my house right now, and none of them are my husband.   Tomorrow, there are probably going to be SEVEN men in my house.  It feels a little weird. I’m hiding in my master bedroom.

I’m a little sad about the swap.  Instead of spending Wednesday morning with women I know and love, I’m spending it with strange men.  And it won’t even be the same ones each week.  Instead of lunch date with girl friends, I’m eating tuna sandwiches in my bedroom.

(oh… i can’t wait to see what google does with THAT statement.)

It’s all about the blasted remodel.

I resolved to do what it took to get done – once and for all – with the job.  And since we don’t have a general contractor, that means I’m stuck at home.  I supervise the trades, keep the books, make sure the house is locked, negotiate schedules, cut the checks, approve the bids, negotiate the contracts, and whatever else it takes to get this stuff done.

I have painting, plumbing, tile work, concrete, granite, and landscaping crews to work with.  I’m also doing the normal “girly” stuff like approving paint colors, selecting window treatments, and planning final furniture placement.

When we started this remodel two years ago, this isn’t how I thought it would end up.  At the time, we’d been promised a quick four month turn around.  (yeah, right).   That was before we discovered the burnt electrical wires and broken structural beams.  That was before we confirmed that every single bit of sheetrock would have to be removed because the paint was peeling off in giant bubbles.

Two years ago, I was playing “clean sweep” as I packed away my things.  We were watching a LOT of remodeling shows in the evenings.  I was tearing out cute decorating ideas, collecting paint samples, and dreaming about new counter tops.

Over the past two years, I’ve changed.

I’ve lost almost all emotional attachment to anything I’ve carted around in boxes for two years. Something in the whole process has made me much less likely to accumulate clutter.

I’ve been through the wringer and come out stronger.

I’ve learned how to take a photo of substandard work and look a trade in the eye while I say “my husband isn’t going to approve that” – and actually resolve the issue without ever bugging my husband.

I’ve seen just how strong my momma bear instinct is.  When the remodel stupidity started impacting my kids, I moved mountains to get my family home and establish some level of normal for them.  I stopped at NOTHING to get my babies back home where they needed to be.

We’re so stinking close.

Part of why the whole project has taken so long was the hold.  When this momma bear moved us back home, we had a potty that flushed.  No sinks.  No showers.  No doors.  No cabinets.  No laundry.  It took me a week to get a functional kitchen, shower, bathroom sink, and washing machine.  It took us about three weeks to get finished flooring and kitchen appliances.  After that, we put the remodel on hold.

For eight months, we refused to allow any trades in the house.  My family needed to heal.  So I’ve lived with wires and plain bulbs hanging from the ceiling, primer on the walls, unfinished stairs, raw wood baseboards, and no registers for the air conditioner (the slat things that the air comes out of in every room).  I’ve lived with those paper “temporary” blinds that you can’t open or move.

Hubby and I have done what we could manage on our own.  He’s added ceiling fans and most of the final lights.   We put shelves in closets.  We’ve cleaned everything repeatedly.  We’ve caulked and grouted where we had to.   But for the most part, we’ve taken time to heal and to help our kids see this as our home – not just a construction site.

I just want a finished room.

For months, I’ve been saying that what I really want is one single room that I can walk into, close the door, sit down and NOT see remodel.  I want some space that feels completely finished and decorated.  Given that there’s only one room where the door actually has a door knob, I’m still waiting.

My master bedroom is finally close.  It still needs a door knob (long story) and the slat things for the air.  I also need to finish decorating it.  That may take some time.  While I love the feeling of well decorated spaces, I struggle to actually make them happen.

My laundry room is also almost done, but I don’t think that counts.  Even though it ROCKS as a laundry room.

Monday Musings?

Oh yeah, I was going somewhere with this.  Sorry.

My point is that I’m missing out on one of the key parts of my social life.  Going to bible study each week let me see friends and touch base with people easily.  It held the promise of lunch dates.

I can get Bible study other ways.  I’m not worried about that part.

But I recognize I need to consciously choose some other ways to maintain my social life.   I don’t want to wake up a month from now feeling isolated, lonely, and semi-depressed.  I recognize that I need quality girl time!

(i also don’t want to drive my husband batty by trying to talk to him like he’s a girlfriend.  it just doesn’t work.)

So if you want a girls night out… think of me, OK?

I’d love to know what you do to ensure quality girl-time to keep your sanity.  I’m looking for a few good ideas.

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Susan Baker
I have a passion for encouraging weary worn out mothers to find joy in everyday motherhood and peace in unlikely places. I have two elementary school boys, one nerdy husband, and two cats. I have a strange fascination for bad puns, the color pink, socks, and books. I worry about running out of toilet paper, wine, and chocolate.. I serve an amazing God. I live an ordinary life filled with wonder.
Susan Baker
Susan Baker

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