What are you giving for Valentine’s Day?

what are you giving for valentine

Commercials this time of year drive me crazy.  All the Valentine’s Day focus is just a bit… overwhelming.

(No, this isn’t me being snarky because I won’t get flowers.  We’ve covered that already.)

I can’t go 30 minutes without hearing some kind of commercial for roses or chocolate or stuffed animals or “sleep” wear or jewelry.  Quite frankly, it seems a bit lopsided.  All those ads are focused on telling men what to buy for their lady-friend.

(In a random sampling of all the men in my household, my husband indicated quite clearly that no man wants flowers, stuffed animals, jewelry, or thong underwear.  The jury was out on chocolate and boxers.)

It has me a bit confused.

what are you giving for valentine

Am I supposed to buy something for my husband? Beyond a few commercials for greeting cards, I haven’t seen any “helpful” ads giving gift recommendations for the holiday.  The hardware and auto parts stores are devoid of a gift aisle with helpful suggestions for the man in my life.

For a time, I thought I was supposed to cook up some kind of amazing man-dinner to show my undying love for my husband.  But then I remembered all those restaurant specials and commercials for a romantic dinner package.  If my husband is supposed to take me OUT to dinner, it’s kind of hard to think I would cook for him on the same night.

Am I just supposed to model whatever “sleep” ware shows up at the doorstep?  After being plied with champagne and chocolate am I supposed to just melt into his arms with passion?  If I do, is that my gift to him?

(we ARE happily married. don’t be shocked that i used the word “passion”.)

I don’t know what to do!

I get it. The whole Valentine’s Day thing is about showing how much we love the very special people in our life.  It’s about romance.

But it just seems to me that all the advertising and pressure is one sided. The guys are supposed to spend all this time and energy (and money) to shower the ladies in love and romance.

Where’s the pressure on the ladies?

Sometime between now (the day before Valentine’s Day) and next Monday, some woman you know will be in a tiff because her husband didn’t live up to her romantic expectations.  If she’s wise, she’ll keep her unhappiness private.  If she isn’t, it will be all over Facebook.

No men will get in a tiff.  You won’t see vague Facebook posts from men passively expressing their unhappiness because their wife forgot to buy him a card (or bought the wrong size socket wrench for his gift).

Other than this unspoken expectation that we feel passionate, women seem to escape all the pressure of the day.

what are you going to give

What should I give?

Seriously.

I don’t want Valentine’s Day to be a one sided event.  My husband won’t bring me flowers or chocolate, but that doesn’t mean he’s a total lunk-head that ignores the day.  He’ll do something to show me that he loves me.

I need help! I’ll be hanging out on Pinterest for the next day or so trying to find an idea.

If you have suggestions, let me know.

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The day I actually DID get flowers

the day i got flowers

A year ago, I shared that I never got flowers for Valentine’s Day.  It’s a great post about love languages and understanding that not everyone expresses their love the same way.

For the record, I’m still OK with the fact that I don’t get flowers.  My husband does the dishes and cooks breakfast.  He also cleans out the cat litter box and cleans the toilets.  I’m loved.

(Today marks the 15th anniversary of our first date.  Squeee!!!)

I actually did get flowers this year.

the day i got flowers

Last October, when I was scheduled for knee surgery, I was blessed to have more than one family member to call on for help.   I got to choose who took me to the day surgery center and who would pick up the kids after school.

It was an easy choice.

My mommy took me to the hospital and held my hand.  My husband got kid duty.

When my mom brought me home, my husband and kids were there at the curb, ready to help me into the house and onto the couch.

Each son was holding a bouquet of flowers for me.

As my husband was quick to point out, technically the flowers were from the kids and NOT from him.  That means his flower-free streak is still intact.  But I know he’s the one who drove them to the grocery store and paid for the flowers they picked out.

The kids even told me it was his idea.

They weren’t roses.

Since each boy was allowed to pick out his own flowers to give me, their picks were a little less traditional.

My older son went with hot pink.  Lots and lots of pink.  In his mind, quantity was clearly more important than quality.

My younger son took a different path.  He gave me a  plant.  It was in full bloom (with pink flowers) at the time, but it was clearly in a pot with dirt.  He said he didn’t want my flowers to ever die.

I’ll take it.

I’m not a big flower person. But I’m not a fool.  I snapped photos of those flowers and posted them on Facebook.  Even in my Vicodin haze, I was still lucid enough to brag on my boys.

Speaking of which:

Daisies are white

Roses are pink

I’m trading my flowers

for a clean kitchen sink.

Roses smell sweet,

but carnations stink.

show me that you love me

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