The (made up) Mom Dictionary

mom dictionaryIf you are asking “what exactly is The Mom Dictionary?” don’t worry.  I made it up.  It’s simple.

The mom dictionary is a list of words that aren’t in the dictionary but that should be.

Because moms need more recognition.

(And because I kept mistyping a few words and started giggling about it.

While I was bored in car line.)

The Mom Dictionary

Momologue – That speech you give to your kids that lasts for longer than 30 seconds.  You know, the one they tune out.  Older kids may respond with “Mom, enough with the momologue already.  I get it.”
Momotone – The special voice you use to read a child to sleep.  The calm, boring voice.  “Suzie was wound up, but she succumbed to my Momotone reading of Good Night Moon.”
Momumental – Any task that seems impossible unless mom helps.  “My child declared cleaning up the toy room was a momumental task.”
(Additional Usage)  Older children may use this as an insult.  “When I requested that my teen wake up at 6am on Saturday, he looked at me and said ‘Mom-u-mental.'”
Momopoly – Any task that the family believes belongs only to the Mom in the house.  “Most mothers have a Momopoly on writing the weekly shopping list.”
Momotinous – The repetitive tasks moms do.  “I love my kids, but I’m tired of the momotonous tasks like picking up Legos and finding lost shoes.”
MOMochromatic - the color scheme new mommies wear.
Moment – The length of time it takes for a mouthful of “secret chocolate” to melt.  “My child was knocking on the closet door and almost spoiled my moment.”  (pronounced MOM-ent)
Momsterous – Something bad.  Really really bad.  “My mom is normally nice, but today we got into a momsterous fight because I ate her chocolate.”
Momstrousity – An outfit of clothing selected my a loving mom and rejected by a hyper-fashion conscious teen. “My mom picked out this MOMstrousity of a shirt.  Can you believe she wants me to wear last year’s colors?”

What did I miss?  What else belongs in the Mom Dictionary?

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Susan Baker
I have a passion for encouraging weary worn out mothers to find joy in everyday motherhood and peace in unlikely places. I have two elementary school boys, one nerdy husband, and two cats. I have a strange fascination for bad puns, the color pink, socks, and books. I worry about running out of toilet paper, wine, and chocolate.. I serve an amazing God. I live an ordinary life filled with wonder.
Susan Baker
Susan Baker

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  1. I love this! My favorite is the MOM-ent…we all have “secret chocolate” somewhere don’t we?

  2. This is so great, laughing so hard because it’s so true. I am trying hard to think of one but I can’t, if I do I will let you know.

    • I had the original idea in car line. I was giggling in the car by myself as I wrote them. I think the people around me thought I was silly.

  3. Hahaha! I love the 2 usages of momumental!

    Although it is kinda cheating since there is no creative speling, I’d add:

    TherMOMeter: That special touch on the forehead that results in mom saying, “No, you are not sick. Yes, you are going to school”

  4. This is so cute Susan! I think I am pretty much guilty of the Momologue! Only once or twice tho. 🙂

    • Only once or twice? Wow… can we check with your kids on that? They might look at you and say “mom-u-mental” if you think you don’t momologue more than that.

  5. So funny! I love the momologue (I may do this one from time to time…) and both usages of momumental.

    • I’m dreading the day my kids are old enough to start using that second definition of momumental. I think I might have to go have a MOMent over it.

  6. “Mom Finger” The finger you point towards your children to shame them for something. Used in a sentence “Don’t make me pull out my mom finger here in public!”

    • I’m not sure I’ve ever mastered the mom finger. But I know I have the mom eyes down. I can make other people’s kids mind with my mom eyes.

  7. LOL! So funny! 🙂

  8. I love Momotone. It really works!

  9. {Melinda} Found your blog through SITS Saturday Sharefest and I am so glad I did! LOVE this post (MOM-u-mental! 🙂 and the overall philosophy and tone of your blog. Motherhood does rock! There is lots of joy — even if it’s hard and exhausting and heartbreaking at times. God has used it more than anything else to mold me and make me more like Him.

    Following you now via RSS and Facebook!

    An addition to your dictionary — MOMitize: The process whereby children (predominantly teenagers) turn their mothers into walking ATM machines.

  10. Fabulous list! Amen to one and all. I would only add Momzilla. Do I really need to define it? What I turn into with too little sleep or after repeated begging for something I’ve already said no to three times. What I am when I don’t give them what they want. What I imagine myself to be when the house is a mess and I want to storm through like a monster throwing it all out the front door.

    Happy Sharefest. Have a great weekend.

    • When I’m being momzilla, I find that a quiet MOMent isn’t enough. I’m not sure of what works other than a MOMtini… But those aren’t always a good option.

  11. I love it! I’ve been wracking my brain for a smart response and suggestion, but I’m coming up short. 🙂 I have been guilty of too many momologues! 🙂

  12. sandy stainton says:

    MOMsters: Noun: Your sweet little darlings when they should be on their best behavior but decide to tantrum instead

  13. Not a “mom” word – but I’ve always loved “invisa-booboo”. You know those mysterious owies that require a band-aid for no reason at all. 🙂

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