Vicodin inspired Facebook Updates

Oh my.  Having scrolled back through several days worth of vicodin inspired Facebook updates, I’m ashamed.  Very ashamed.

I’m thankful now that I chose not to try and write blog posts over the weekend.  Y’all would have thought I’d lost my ever loving mind!

If you thought drunken Facebook updates were bad, just check out my handiwork.

(warning – bad poetry ahead)

vicodin and facebook

Thursday:

Apparently, I was in love with my ice pack.  Mmmm…. ice…..

Roses are red
Violets are blue
This ice pack is cold
And also quite blue.

And also in love with my coffee.  Hubby took the kids to school and then took me to breakfast before dragging me to physical therapy.

This mug is creamy
The coffee was black.
I added milk
And now it is dreamy.

coffee is dreamy

Hubby was supposed to be working from home Thursday.

I might have been annoying.

work from home

Since last Thursday was Halloween, I had to share my son’s costume.

Pigmen are pink
Diamonds are blue
Creepers are green
Minecraft Halloween to you.

he woke me up to ask for bacon

(He woke me up with that mask on – demanding bacon for breakfast.  Giggle.)

Friday:

I must have been feeling a bit better.

I participated in Five Minute Friday before taking another pain pill.  After that, I don’t remember much other than the fact that I made tuna salad for my own lunch.  Apparently I shared with the cats.

My socks are blue
My shirt is red
Without pain meds
I’d be stuck in bed.

I also managed a Yoda-like seasonal question.

Trees are green
Grass is too
It’s Post Halloween
Eat candy did you?

(I bet you read that last line like Kermit the Frog, didn’t you.)

Saturday:

By Saturday morning, my headache was worse than my knee pain.

Roses are red
My blankie is white.
The migraine is bad
I go night night.

Right after I posted that little gem, I posted my “out of office” message on the blog.  I clearly wasn’t to be trusted with the written word!

After a sweet friend arranged an emergency chocolate cookie delivery, I added

Veggies are green
But cookies taste better
Chocolate’s the best
When I’m under the weather.

Followed by

The migraines back
It’s getting worse
I m trying not to
Cuss in verse.

Sunday:

As the pain meds wore off (they were causing the migraine), my poetry inspired updates became less frequent.  I did manage

Jelly is purple
Bread is white
P.T. Stinks
But I’m doing alright.

(Yes, I know that “alright” is all wrong.  I blame the drugs.  Sorry.)

I also managed to create one of the most frightening Bit-Strips I’ve ever seen!

I sent it to my husband via text.  I heard his laugh all the way across the house.

hello nurse

 Monday:

Since my friends had enjoyed harassing me for the bad poetry, I tried one last drug-free poem.

Morning has broken
My knee – it is fixed!
I’m off to p.t.
I wish it was nixed.

It’s just not the same.

The pain meds are done.
My poems are too.
I can’t write them sober.
Too bad for you.

Really. Really.  Really bad.

Any advice?  Should I keep writing bad poems?

Get social:
Susan Baker
I have a passion for encouraging weary worn out mothers to find joy in everyday motherhood and peace in unlikely places. I have two elementary school boys, one nerdy husband, and two cats. I have a strange fascination for bad puns, the color pink, socks, and books. I worry about running out of toilet paper, wine, and chocolate.. I serve an amazing God. I live an ordinary life filled with wonder.
Susan Baker
Susan Baker

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Comments

  1. You are too funny! (and poetic, too!) Glad your vicodin is wearing off and you’re on the mend.

    • Thanks. The crazy thing is that if I try to write serious poems they are horrid. Not funny, just BAD. Not even worthy of an off-brand get well card from the dollar store.

      It’s when I’m tired (or impaired) that the good poems come out.

  2. Brilliant and had me in giggles! I just got addicted to Bit-Strips but mine aren’t as funny as yours :)
    Hopping from #findingthefunny

    • Hey, I was thinking about copying your about me page… would that be creepy?

      Most of my Bit-Strips aren’t that funny either. But the nurse one was just too good!

  3. If Vicodin makes me that funny, I need to try those web sites with drugs from Canada! Great post.

  4. Wow, Susan! All I can say is Wow! Never a dull moment at your house, huh?! :)

    • Patty, there probably ARE some dull moments, but not many of them. Um… I’m going to go check out your caramel chocolate pie recipe now. Just the title has me craving pie!

  5. It sounds like you were a lot of fun to be around on your meds. The poems are cute.

  6. Hi Susan,
    This is quite a funny post, and I am glad that it is wearing off. Pain relievers and other sorts of drugs, and sleep deprivation, can definitely make you feel a lot different and act different. Thank you for the laugh,
    Andrew

  7. The problem with technology is that it never forgets.
    In the old days (my hard drinking days) I did some crazy texting and left some pretty shameful voicemails.
    Thankfully your stuff was fun and silly. Hope you get to feeling better.

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