My husband called me a “gym bunny” the other day and I was mightily offended.
He had absolutely no clue that I struggled not to take off my favorite gym shoe and throw it as his head as he wandered out of the room. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have been grinning when he popped back in a few seconds later to proclaim
I’ve always secretly wanted a gym bunny for a wife.
I stewed for hours.
Not because my husband is deriving some enjoyment from my ever-shrinking body but because I don’t see myself as a gym bunny. There’s still an X in the size of my t-shirts, how can I possibly be a gym bunny?
(Honestly, I’m glad hubby is noticing AND enjoying the changes. It would be sad if spending hours in the gym each week DIDN’T make him notice. He says it’s like sleeping with a new woman every week, which may be a tad more information than I actually needed to know.)
What is a gym bunny?
I’m not sure what the official definition is. I’ve always assumed that it was a derogatory term. In my mind, a G.B. is definitely female and she obviously spends a lot of time every week at the gym.
(hmmm… I am female. I spend hours at the gym every week.)
Furthermore, a G.B. makes it totally obvious that she spends a lot of time at the gym. She’s known to turn down lunch invitations because they interfere with her training schedule. She tends to wear tight spandex everywhere and has that “I just worked out” glow.
(Although, now that we had to move my sessions with the personal trainer to noon, I’ve been turning down lunch invitations left and right. These days, what woman doesn’t live her life with a little spandex? I wore yoga pants to the grocery store yesterday… right after I worked out. )
Every woman I’ve ever labeled as a G.B. has obviously spent a LOT of money on her gym clothes. How else can you explain a matching outfit of shoes, yoga pants, spandex tank top, and sports bra?
(The reality is that some of those expensive brands really DO work better than the bargain brands. I was shocked to realize that it made such a big difference. The “good stuff” also appears to be holding up to repeated washing better too.
I may not have a matching set (unless you consider “all black” a matching set) but I totally want one or two. I spend multiple hours a day in the stuff, I might as well look decent. Besides, when you don’t use chocolate as a reward for losing five pounds, new shoes and a new bra seem like a perfectly reasonable substitute.)
The worst G.B. offenders I know have really annoying Pinterest boards. They’re covered with pins about planking challenges and high protein snacking ideas and cute running shoes.
(At least I have the decency to keep mine as a hidden board.)
Oh snot! I am one!
Y’all. I’ve been a proud couch potato for years. This is seriously messing with my head. It’s like I don’t even know who I am anymore.
You know that really obnoxious pin, the one that says
“Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.”
Normally I just shake my head in disbelief. Clearly whoever said that has never tasted triple dark chocolate chunk brownies covered in a layer of salted caramel pretzels. I’m pretty sure those taste better than skinny feels.
The other night I made a batch of brownies for my family and just walked away. I was a single pound away from my goal and for once… just once… I understood. Skinny felt better.
WHAT IN THE WORLD HAS HAPPENED TO ME!!!!!!
(No, aliens have not taken over my body. I made my goal. Then I had TWO brownies, just to make sure I was still me. What else was I to do?)
I’ve watched in mystified horror as several of my friends have gone from filling their shopping cards with plus sized lounge pants, cheese puffs, and chocolate to stocking up on running shoes and spandex.
I always wondered if they missed the cheese puffs or if they ever fell off the wagon and ate a whole bag of cookies.
This is going to take some getting used to.
I started going to the gym because I ran out of options. After knee surgery, I discovered I either had to work out daily or live in agony.
I started counting calories because… well… if I have to spend that much time exercising then I might as well make it worth my while.
I had to fill out a health survey form the other day and that’s when the reality hit. One of the very first questions was one of those multiple choice “how active are you” questions. I had marked “extremely sedentary” like I always do.
Then it hit me. Since January 1st, I have spend an average of 10 hours a week in the gym sweating my backside off (literally). On top of that, I’ve spent an additional 10 hours a week cleaning house and several hours each week just walking up and down the street. I’ve hiked a canyon, participated in a fun run, and done a walking tour of downtown San Antonio. I’m not exactly living a sedentary life.
So gentle reader, I’ll leave it up to you. Am I a gym bunny or not?