Confession:  I’ve been up since 5am, bawling my eyes out.  I’m a mess.  I’m not normally a morning person, but today… Lisa-Jo’s book released.  When hubby tip-toed out of our room to head to the gym, I grabbed my Kindle and began to devour her book.  Let me just say that Surprised by Motherhood is…. awesome.

I’ve bawled through the entire thing in a good way.  And now I want to do it again.  It’s just that kind of awesome.

In honor of the book’s release, Lisa-Jo asked for other women to share their own stories of being surprised by motherhood.

This is mine.  It’s the one I swore I’d never share because it’s not pretty.

I’m sorry up front for making you cry. [Read more…]

One of my big, deep down, dark secret shameful fears is that my husband will stop loving me.

(I guess it’s not so secret now that I’ve published it on the internet.)

When my knee was at it’s very worst and I couldn’t even go to the bathroom without help, I hated asking my husband for assistance for anything.

I was afraid.

I kept dwelling on my fear because deep down, I believed a lie.

My husband won’t love me if I’m too needy.  (YIKES!)

Confronting this particular lie was one of the most unexpected blessings of surgery that I could ever imagine.

Hubby married a head-strong and independent woman. He married a woman who was active, capable, and healthy. I have to assume that those were qualities in me that he actually LIKED and wanted in his life partner. He’s even told me those were the parts of me that made him fall in love with me.

[Read more…]

When I first drafted a post on the unexpected blessings of knee surgery last November, my comment on perfectionism went unnoticed.

See if you catch what I wrote.

If I’m not perfect it’s not worth doing. (O. M. W!)

Normally, we write that as

If I can’t do it perfectly, it’s not worth doing.

See the difference? Apparently, I’ve taken perfectionism one step further than the norm. I’m not just worried about the things I do being perfect, I’m aiming to be a perfect person. [Read more…]

During the long period of knee injury and recovery, I had to confront what happens when a mom can’t do her job as a mom.

In the process, I confronted issues of identity, purpose, significance, and value. In the end, I truly believe that my identity is not based on my accomplishments.  That’s not where I get my value or purpose.

I know it’s true, but even as I type it, part of me squirms uncomfortably. There’s a small voice inside that whimpers “but what about…” [Read more…]

I never thought I would talk about the unexpected blessing of surgery.

I guess that’s what makes it unexpected.

The truth is that being forced to sit on the sidelines and ask for help has been good for me.  It’s been good for my family too, even if they haven’t enjoyed it.

The truth is that God was out to heal much more than a wounded knee.  

When I first was injured, I had no idea I would end up finding peace in the unlikeliest of places.

Note: I originally wrote this post EIGHT DAYS after my knee surgery.  I didn’t share it at the time.  I can’t explain why other than I knew there was more to the story.  There was.  And I’m finally ready to share about it in a series of posts wrenched from my heart in the months since my surgery.  

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