My toilet paper obsession confession

I may have mentioned it in passing before – I am kind of obsessed with buying toilet paper.

(remember, i wrote about it as a MOMtor?  My kids have used the stuff in their zombie exploits.  It even featured in the birth story of my younger son (well, kind of a birth story… or something like that)

Even when we were remodeling and living in our RV, I continued to buy more of the stuff than we could store.  I drove around for months with a 36 pack of double rolled Cottonelle in the back of my car because I had no place to put it.

My comfort zone these days is a minimum of 36 rolls.  If I have to break into the plastic wrapping around that bulk pack, I start getting twitchy.

My husband’s response to my toilet paper obsession alternates between amusement, annoyance, and delight.

[Read more…]

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Confession: My first green smoothie was a disaster

My very first green smoothie was a disaster.

This wasn’t just a little bit bad, it was epic bad.  The kind that gets brought up by other family members for YEARS to come.

It was way before Pinterest and there wasn’t much information about what went into green smoothies.   There can be no other explanation for why I threw this particular set of ingredients into the blender with a vague expectation that my kids would like it.

I was aiming for a screaming neon green that I could turn into frozen treats for my kids.

Logically, if I turned vegetables into a fun frozen shape then my kids will be fooled, right?

Wrong. [Read more…]

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No Flowers for Me

Valentine’s Day is coming up this week, and there will be no flowers for me.

Between dating and marriage, we’ve been together 14 years.  Aside from our wedding day, my husband has only bought me flowers once.

(that was early in our marriage when a mutual male friend pressured him into doing it.  when my husband handed me those roses, he said “here – i only got you these because marvin made me do it.  i hope he’s happy.”  nice.)

I’m also not going to be given a giant box of chocolates.  My husband knows me well enough to know I have a stash of quality dark chocolate somewhere in the house and that I’m not a big fan of the mixed assorted stuff.

(the good stuff is currently hidden in my sock drawer.  don’t ask why.)

I was given jewelry for a wedding present (and obviously for our engagement) but I haven’t received any since.  If I want jewelry, I tend to go out and buy what I want. [Read more…]

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Worst Date Ever

worst date everLooking back, it was the worst date ever.  At least I can laugh about it now.

Even though I’m a happily married woman (and have been since 1999) I still remember how horrible dating can be when things go wrong.

Way back in the 90’s, internet dating was still a novel idea.  The internet was mostly driven by dial-up.  Social media wasn’t a pervasive part of my life.  My cell phone was dumb.  We’re talking Web 1.0 folks.

I was on the cutting edge when I started using the internet to find a man worth dating back then.  It didn’t always go smoothly, and it produced my worst date ever. [Read more…]

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A Yarn about Yarn

yarn about yarnYarn (v) – long or implausible story.  see also: thread, story, tale

We’ve been in West Texas this weekend.  We drove from Houston to our “undisclosed location” on Thursday and will be making the return trip on Sunday.

Don’t worry, the kids aren’t missing school.  The teachers are all at a conference.   

We are an hour’s drive to the closest Chic Fil A, craft store, shoe store, or movie theatre.   If you look at a map, we’re about 60 miles from either Abilene or San Angelo.  It’s about a six hour drive back to Houston (PLUS the required potty stops).

Yes, when we talk about how far apart things are, we talk about how long it takes to drive there.  You ask most Texans “how far is it?” and they’ll answer in TIME, not MILES.

We drove by cotton plants. [Read more…]

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Sock It To Me

Sock It To MeWhen I was growing up, my brother’s absolute favorite dessert was something called Sock It To Me Cake.

If you don’t remember, it’s a bundt cake that starts with a yellow cake mix and and adds sour cream and a cinnamon sugar swirl.  The link takes you to the official recipe, but there are tons of variations.  Ask your grandma for her version, it will make her smile.

(if you’ve never had one, consider this a perfect excuse to go off your diet and try a slice.  it’s pretty yummy. since the cake has sour cream in it, you could even argue it’s a great breakfast food.  or not.)

Hmm, now that I think of it, I think he might disagree about Sock It To Me Cake being his absolute favorite.  He loved strawberry shortcake and Mississippi Mud cake too.  But it was in his top five desserts for sure. [Read more…]

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Why I Can’t Watch That Game Show

Confessions - That Game ShowIn an effort to not blog about my remodel woes, I thought I’d share my story about why I can’t watch that game show any longer.

(if you want a remodel update:  i’m losing my bedroom nest today.  the plumber is going to be in my bathroom.  the good part of that is i’ll finally be getting a shower in my master bath.  bliss.)

Specifically, I can’t watch The Price is Right (TPIR).

It’s not that I refuse to watch it now that Bob Barker is gone.  I don’t object to the new beauties or any of the other attempts to modernize the show.  In some ways, I really miss it.  I have fond memories from my childhood of watching the show on sick days.

But I can’t watch it.

(warning – it’s a nursing story.  look away if you need to.)

I blame GoGo. [Read more…]

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What would YOU have done – Evil Potty Choices

What would you have done - pottyWith a house full of painters, plumbers, and random construction guys, going potty isn’t easy for me.

(i promise, this isn’t going to be gross.  relax.)

Most of the time, I have the luxury of all those workers being confined to one floor of the house.  It’s not hard to move my stuff to a far room and then stick some headphones on.  It’s not ideal, but I can normally time my quick potty trips to line up with when all the workers go outside for a communal smoke break.

Yesterday, it just didn’t work out that way. [Read more…]

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Happy Sharpie Day!

sharpie day from thishappymom.comAs far as I know, Sharpie Day is not an official holiday.I’m not even certain that the folks that sell Sharpie markers know about it. But they should.

I first hinted about Sharpie Day in a guest post for Mothering From Scratch. The very first year we were married, I went straight from Bride-zilla to Holiday-zilla. Remember? Something about hand-embossed menus. [Read more…]

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The Dirty Truth about the Litter Box

Litter Box - Christmas photoI hate changing the litter box.  You would not believe the strategies I’ve employed to avoid cleaning the thing!

When I was a single, apartment dwelling cat owner, I put two litter boxes on my patio.  I installed a pet door insert in the sliding glass door.

You would be amazed at how long you can go without changing the litter box when you stick it outside.

Two of them meant I could go TWICE as long.

During this same period, my husband (whom I had not met yet) was trying to teach HIS cat to use the toilet.

Our marriage can be seen as one long battle to see who could avoid changing the cat litter box.

So far, I’m winning. [Read more…]

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