Apparently, all of parenting skills are focused around cussing these days.
As soon as had I dealt with the…um…”butterfly” incident with my older son, my younger son started in about the um… well… the word that starts with “f.”
My precious sweet little innocent cherubic son looks up at me and says “I know the very worst word in the whole world.”
I don’t know about you, but I didn’t know that many cuss words when I was in second grade. I was rather curious what my second grade son knew that I hadn’t.
So I asked him to tell me the word in question.
He hesitated, not wanting to actually say the word out loud. Instead, he said
Him: You know. The one that starts with F.
Y’all, I only know one really really bad word that starts with F. After two days of him refusing to tell me the really horrible word he knew that starts with the letter F, I’d had enough. I looked him in the eyes and said
Me: Do you mean F—-?
(I said the actual word. I tried not to cringe when I said it.)
Him: NO!!!!!! I don’t even know what that word means. I’m talking about the WORST word. The one that starts with F and ends with G.
I was really confused now. I didn’t see how -ING made the word that much worse.
Me: Honey, just tell me what word you think is so horrible. Just this once, you won’t get in trouble for it.
He bowed his little head and whispered
I just stood there. I had to take a deep breath to figure out how a responsible adult was supposed to handle this. Since I had no clue what that was, I went for the obvious.
Me: Honey, chocolate candy isn’t a bad word. Fudge is just a type of candy.
It turns out that one little second grade boy came back from Christmas vacation with the mistaken idea that “fudge” was a really naughty word. (I can guess how that happened.) He of course wasted no time in telling all his friends about the forbidden word. For the past few days, they’ve been practicing it on the playground whenever they were out of earshot of the teachers.
It was so simple when they were in preschool. That’s when they swore that “stupid” was the worst cuss word and that “diaper head baby” was the biggest insult.