No, “chicken farming” isn’t a euphemism for something shady. It’s just that my kids developed an addiction for farming, and I was completely oblivious to it until I’d killed a few chickens.
It all started with a screen ban.
Normally, with a screen ban, my kids complain for a bit but move on and find other ways to entertain themselves. It’s unpleasant, but we live through it.
This time, there were considerably more tears and drama that the situation warranted.
Me: What is going on?
Child: I’m worried about my farm.
I confess, I wasn’t really paying attention. If I was, I would have responded a little differently.
Me: I’m sure you’re farm is just fine. Don’t worry about it.
At that point, the child skipped off, happy as could be. He didn’t give it another thought. I was rather impressed with my mom-fu and didn’t dig any deeper. Ooops.
When the screen ban was lifted, the child grabbed his digital device. Silence descended.
Then chaos ensued.
Child: MOooooooooommmmm!!!!!! YOU KILLED MY CHICKENS! YOU ARE A CHICKEN KILLER.
For the next several days, both my kids called me “chicken killer.” They’d whisper it under their breath, shake their heads, and walk off.
(what, you don’t play video games with your kids? then how do you know what they’re playing?)
If you aren’t familiar with the game, part of it involves growing crops. If you don’t harvest the crops on time, they wither and die. Since you have to buy the seeds to plant the crops, that meant that the kids were constantly checking their crops.
When they go to bed, they turn in their digital devices. The chargers are on my night stand.
When a crop is ready on Smurfs, it makes a noise. The noise was on my nightstand. I’d harvest the crop and replant something for them. Because I’m a nice mom.
We moved on from Smurfs (thankfully).
They started playing Hayday. I couldn’t get into Hayday, but it seemed harmless.
(i do help them breed dragons, don’t ask.)
You grow chickens in Hayday (among other things). Your chickens need to be feed and watered regularly.
Hayday doesn’t make noise when the crops are done.
Apparently it doesn’t warn you when the chickens are starving either.
My kids assumed that my “it will all work out statement” meant that I was feeding their chickens. I wasn’t.
I am a chicken killer.
I thought about making one of those shaming photos for this post. It would have been my mug shot with me holding a sign that read “I kill virtual chickens.”
I didn’t want to see my face on Pinterest.
My Kids Make Me Laugh
That was several months ago.
Ever since then, when I am handing out a screen ban, my children look me in the eye and yell
CHICKEN KILLER! YOU’RE KILLING MY CHICKENS….
They say this with as much drama as they can possibly muster. I just hold out my hand and wait for their devices to be surrendered.
NOOOOOOO…… NOT MY CHICKENS. MY PRECIOUS CHICKENSSSSSSSS…..
…. (whispered) bye bye sweet chickens….. chickens….
They don’t even play the silly game any longer. They’ve moved on and are happily building a kingdom and fighting evil pirates.
But they still call me chicken killer.
How have your kids made you laugh this week? Have you ever been accused of virtual chicken killing?