For old time’s sake. It’s Tuesday, it’s another crazy story about my kids. It’s “my kids make me laugh” and today it’s all about symmetry.
My son Watty is in fourth grade. He’s a boy. His sense of humor is the predictable result of all three factors. (Being my kid comes with a certain quirky sense of humor. Trust me.)
Oh. Before I go any further. This blog post has a few words that might offend your kindergarten teacher while she is in the classroom. It’s nothing I wouldn’t say in front of my pastor’s wife, but you’ve been warned.
Watty got in the car last Friday and was upset because he’d had to sign the discipline book at school for the second time in the week.
Watty: Mom, I promise it was an accident! I did NOT do it on purpose. You can’t punish me for an accident.
Me: You have to tell me what happened first.
I’ll spare you his version of the story in the interest of speed.
The class was studying symmetry in math class. They then were given a writing assignment on symmetry. My son’s topic was the butterfly.
Watty: It was on butterflies, because those are the most famous symmetrical thing there is.
Like any good fourth grade student, my son started by writing the title on the top line.
Like any kid stalling for time, he wrote the title in really big letters, so people know it’s the title.
Watty: Mom, the title wouldn’t all fit on the top line.
Me: So? Write smaller.
(I was still not seeing the potential landline in the road. I honestly didn’t see where this was going.)
Watty: No, you don’t understand. I could fit “MY” and the first FOUR letters of butterfly.
Me: (mentally spelling butterfly) So…
At this point, my younger son (the second grader) is howling with laughter.
Neither kid is willing to spell out what happened. They won’t say the word.
Me: Wait. You mean you wrote MY BUTT?
Watty: Yes. I spelled B – U – T (and then he whispered) t. The “erfly” wouldn’t fit.
Y’all. He whispered the last letter like it was seriously wrong to put it out there. It was like he was whispering a “real” cuss word.
The story goes that he had every intention of erasing the title and rewriting it to make it all fit. But he got the giggles over what he’d written.
The girl sitting next to him glanced over to see what he was laughing at, and she got the giggles with him. Then she suggested that they show a third student. They did.
That’s when the teacher wandered over to see what was disrupting her classroom.
And that’s when my son got in trouble.
My kids make me laugh.
I was trying so hard not to laugh as my son told me the whole story. He was totally serious as he related the whole thing and he was waiting for me to tell him if was going to be punished or not.
I couldn’t help it. I had tears of laughter running down my face. It was just one of those stories. It was the way he was scared to say the second “t” that got me.
I’m sure there are some kids that would intentionally hyphenate butterfly in that special way. I don’t think my son is among them. He doesn’t look at words that way. (Unlike me. giggle.)
When I told my mom the butterfly story, she was laughing with me. Then she got really serious and said “well, a butt IS pretty symmetrical too.”