Help! My husband has engineering disease.

true confessions - engineering diseaseI love my husband dearly, but I swear he has engineering disease.

He rocks.  I knew I loved him the very first time he visited my house (way back when we were dating).  He fixed my garage door.  (swoon).

So I’m starting a series called “Confessions of an Engineer’s Wife” – because I own the blog and he can’t stop me.

(OK, technically, he could stop me.  He’s my webmaster.)

Check out our conversation yesterday and you’ll see why I believe he has an incurable disease.

Evidence of Engineering Disease:

Him:  You know, I was reading some of your blog today.

(Ooooh! Finally! I hope he says that post on S-E-X was funny.)

Me: And?
Him: I noticed quite a few grammatical errors in your comments.
(Oh snot! What if he read that story where I made fun of his mother!)
Me: That would be the comments I type on my phone in carpool.
Him: no… the ones you type when you’re drinking.
(Crud.  Not that conversation again.)
Me:  Oh.  Wine impacts my judgment, huh.
Him:  You need a spell checker after a glass of wine.
(This is actually true.  So does my mother.  I am notorious for making up words when playing Scrabble.  She doesn’t notice until the next day when the wine has worn off.)
Me:  So…
(What about me… am I funny?  Do you like me?)
Him: Can you get a spell checker for WordPress?
Me:  It has one.  I spell check all my posts.
Him: But not your comments?
Me:  There is no spellcheck for comments.
Him: Hmm… I bet we could edit the PHP code and change that.
(See?  See?  He has engineering syndrome at the very least.)
Me:  So, what did you think?
Him: I think you need a better spell checker.  I noticed that you had inadvertently typed “spun” when you meant “spurn.”
(Oh for the love of Pete! Don’t torture me this way! What did you think of the STORY!!!!!!)
Me:  So what did you think of the CONTENT?
Him: Oh, I was busy correcting your grammar.  I decided I was glad I wasn’t a regular reader because we’d get into grammar fights.
(I’d like a little credit for my self-restraint at this point.  I didn’t strangle him because he was driving.)
Me:  Okay. I’m glad you don’t read it either.  I’d love to discuss CONTENT and IDEAS with you.  If I wanted an editor, I’d ask for one.
Him: Don’t get snippy.
Me:  Just once, I’d like you to read something I write and discuss CONTENT.
Him:  That’s not fair.  you are over generalizing.
(This is his favorite tactic in our discussions. Grr! It does not make me a Happy Mom.)
Me:  And the subject of the post with the single typo was…
Him:  I don’t recall.
(Ha! I am going to win this discussion.  For once I’m going to win!!)
Me: I rest my case.  and I am sooooo blogging about this.
Him: You’re going to tell on me to the blog.  Ooooh, scary.
Me: I promise not to make you look bad.

It’s not his fault.  In his defense he has three huge strikes against him.

#1 He actually is an engineer.
#2 His parents ran a small paper for year and his mom was the editor.
#3 He’s a man.
So now I’m stuck re-reading everything I’ve ever posted until I find that stinking typo. If you find it, please let me know.

The post script for this story is the best part!

 

Final proof that my husband has a terminal case of Engineering Disease.

Last night, he went to a social event for work.  He chatted with a mutual friend (Holly) who just happens to have an excellent blog of her own.

She blogged about the encounter.  He was being a very helpful engineer, and it’s a funny story about perspective.  Engineering perspective to be specific.

She shared it on Facebook and tagged him.  He read it.

 

He sent her an email correcting her grammar!

 

I’m thinking of starting a support group for spouses of engineers.  Let me know if you want to be a charter member.

PS – I spell checked this story twice.  Just in case.

Get social:
Susan Baker
I have a passion for encouraging weary worn out mothers to find joy in everyday motherhood and peace in unlikely places. I have two elementary school boys, one nerdy husband, and two cats. I have a strange fascination for bad puns, the color pink, socks, and books. I worry about running out of toilet paper, wine, and chocolate.. I serve an amazing God. I live an ordinary life filled with wonder.
Susan Baker
Susan Baker

Latest posts by Susan Baker (see all)

Comments

  1. I had to laugh, especially since he really is an engineer.

    I used to work as a legal assistant in an estate planning law office. In all honesty, we loved working with doctors because they never read anything and we HATED working with engineers because they read EVERY SINGLE WORD of EVERYTHING! Signing appointments for doctors took half an hour while signing appointments for engineers took multiple appointments of several hours each. They went over EACH AND EVERY word!

    In their defense, I do want an engineer who’s designing a building to be that meticulous. But still . . .

    • Patty, you should see him in the kitchen! You know how when you cook pasta you just fill the big pot with water? He actually measured the water! And he couldn’t understand why I was standing in the corner laughing my head off.

      He’s soooo cute! I adore him and he’s perfect for me. But it’s just too funny not to share.

      • Yeah, but, what if he *didn’t* measure the water per your advice, and the water all boiled off, and it burned up the noodles, and that made smoke, which in turn killed all your pets immediately which caused the kids to cry copious tears, just on the day when you had ran out of both kleenex AND backup toilet paper!? I’ll bet you’d get an earful THEN!!

        YEAH! That’s what I thought. Betcha won’t be picking on him about *that* again.

        +1 for team Man.

        ;))

        • First off – we don’t run out of toilet paper. Ever. It just doesn’t happen in this house. I’m obsessed with not running out of toilet paper.

          Second – we have fully functional smoke detectors. If something ever did burn on the stove, the alarms would go off. The engineer has tested the alarms regularly. The kids and I Are well versed on fire alarm procedures.

          Thirdly – we use a timer to cook pasta. The amount of time for a pot to boil dry is substantially longer than that assuming amount of water used would pass the “reasonable man” test.

          Lastly – the amount of water required to cook pasta is somewhat proportional to the pot dimensions, not just the pot volume. To ignore the circumference of the pot and merely calculate the volume of water required as a simple fraction of the volume of the pot ignores this. That’s why many cooks use an “inch from the top” kind of measure.

          Make sense?

  2. Hey, Susan. I am visiting from Kayse’s Finding Hope. What a funny little story you shared here. My hubby’s an engineer too, and actually I am a former engineer, which means, we sometimes take turns with engineering syndrome! Yikes. Thanks for sharing your funny story!

    • I worked in high-tech for over 10 years before staying home with the kids. I program managed a group of software engineers for most of the time. My step dad in an engineer. My brother is a math dude. My mom has a background with statistics. I knew what I was getting myself into when we married.

      I share in some (ok many) of his dorky ways. We fight over mechanical pencils. We negotiated ownership of the home network. I love him dearly, but occasionally… I have to resort to blogging about it.

  3. I’m not married to an engineer but I can relate to your husband driving you crazy by not giving you the feedback you were after. I imagine it would be very hard not notice grammatical errors with that publishing background though. I do wish there were an easy way to check grammar and spelling in blog comments. I try to check all the comments I post in Word first for glaring grammar or spelling errors.

    • Jean, the true irony is that I’m certified to teach high school English. I don’t use Word as an editor for my posts because it is bad about adding in extra HTML code that makes things messy.

      In a few instances, I’ve re-written something to work around a grammar rule I’m uncertain about (like when to use semi-colons). But, not every situation requires the same grammar rules. Writing stories requires writing in a way that reflects actual conversations we have in real life. Most of us don’t speak in perfect English essay-ese. If I were to write my blog posts to satisfy my inner English teacher, it wouldn’t be nearly as entertaining.

      • Holly Jahangiri says:

        Were you paraphrasing him up there? Because: ” think you need a better spell checker. I noticed that your had inadvertently typed “spun” when you meant ‘spurn.'”

        Of course, if you’re paraphrasing… that’d make it YOUR typo.

        As for his claim that, “You need a spell checker after a glass of wine,” is he saying I was falling down on the job the other night? I think I was off the clock; it was after 10 PM, wasn’t it?

        • Umm… I put the typo there on purpose. I was testing my husband to see if he would say anything about it.

          Now that you’ve pointed it out, there’s no point to the test. So I fixed it. I may or may not have intentionally put another error in this post – just to test him.

          That’s my story and I’m sticking too it.

  4. Holly Jahangiri says:

    I’m in!! Mine’s an engineer, too.

    What’s hilariously funny about this (or not, depending on how thick your skin is at any given time) – mine is from Iran. English is his second language. Which just makes this: http://jahangiri.us/new/2011/04/07/floccinaucinihilipilification/ and the fact that he can beat me at solving the NYT crossword puzzle any day (unless it’s heavy on the foreign words, ironically) just doubly insulting. They’re wonderful, though, aren’t they? :)

    • Holly… the hubs and I have actually googled the word floccinaucinihilipilification. Well, actually, we googled what the longest word was. Ours is a strange and silly world.

      I used to try to beat my grandfather at crossword puzzles. I was 8. He worked them in pen. I think I annoyed him. (He was an accountant – another profession with a personality.)

      I love my engineer. I wouldn’t trade him in for anything. But when I threatened to blog about it, he called my bluff. What’s a girl to do?

      • Holly Jahangiri says:

        They’re very good natured, our engineers.

        I told yours, last night, that he’d given me my next blog post topic – he looked torn between pleased and shaking his head in that way men do, sometimes.

        But they love (and put up with) US – that’s what counts. I wouldn’t trade mine in, either.

        • He came home and told me you were going to blog about him. I think he was worried I’d be upset. I wasn’t going to share this particular post today (even though it was 90% done), but when he started correcting YOUR grammar I just couldn’t help myself.

          I love the fact that he encourages me. He believes in my blogging enough to help with the technical stuff, and he believes in my intelligence enough that sometimes he leaves me alone to muddle through what I don’t understand. Coming from him, that’s a huge complement!

  5. You are such a hoot Susan :) So funny and real. I love this blog.

    • Thank you Tracey! My goal is to make myself laugh when I write these kinds of posts. I figure I’m probably my toughest critic… except Mr Grammar Editor.

      • Holly Jahangiri says:

        Seriously, before I forget to ask again, why do I have to retype all my info for EVERY blasted comment here? I don’t have to do that on other sites…

        Okay, can you IMAGINE the restraint it must take that man not to comment here? This is like the first year my husband didn’t pull an April Fool’s Day prank. OMG. I thought nothing could be worse than his pranks – but waiting all day for him to spring the trap, only to find out there wasn’t one? That was worse.

        Oh, one more question… there are four checkboxes under this comment. What are the bottom two for? There’s no field label… ;) Super secret squirrel hidden surprise checkboxes? Wha–?

        • I have no clue. I upgraded to CommentLuv premium today and haven’t fixed all the bugs. I’ll ask Mr Engineer to figure it out. :) Thanks for telling me that it was wonky – I hate that it’s not perfect.

  6. Lol. Great convo!

    I’m an English teacher and my husband is a computer programmer. Long ago we made a pact that I will not correct his grammar and he will not get frusrated at my technical abilities. Sometimes I make mistakes in my writing and he makes mistakes in his keystrokes and it just isn’t fair to compare.

  7. I think that’s a great tip for a happy marriage! I think learning to respect each other’s strengths and weaknesses is huge.

  8. LOLOL, this is great! I love husband stories- I have one on my blog too =)
    http://www.abubblylife.com/2012/04/where-are-my-freaking-keys.html
    I did not tell him about it, and he came home from work and was like- So, I finally took a moment to catch up on your blog today… hahahaha

    • Laurel – he read my post today and CORRECTED THE GRAMMAR. Then he followed the link to the post where I dissed his mom. He said we were even.

  9. OMG, I am laughing so hard, what a great story. Men are all the same, my hubby doesn’t do that with grammar, but he nitpicks on other things and misses the big picture.

  10. I love these kind of posts. It’s fun to see how differently men and women think. I think your posts are great….I didn’t see any grammar errors–but then I don’t see my own either…LOL

    • The only way I know of to catch all my grammar errors is to write something, read it out loud, sleep on it, and then re read before publishing. What’s the fun in that?

  11. My hubs isn’t an engineer, but he does the same thing. I should know better by now than to ask him to read my favorite posts. He says he’s just trying to be helpful. It would be more helpful to tell me how much he liked the post, *then* tell me it has a grammar/spelling error!

  12. Great post!! I love the conversations between you guys. I can just hear DH and I having similar conversations. You made me laugh again. :-)

    • I still have a hard time realizing that most people don’t have these wacky conversations. I think they’re perfectly normal because they happen all the time. You mean your husband doesn’t critique your spelling on a regular basis? What’s that like?

  13. Read this out loud to my own engineer. We are retired and working as metalsmiths now. (oh the fodder I could provide). It hit home! Lat me know when you get that support group started.

  14. Read this out loud to my own engineer. We are retired and working as metalsmiths now. (oh the fodder I could provide). It hit home! Lat me know when you get that support group started.

Social media & sharing icons powered by UltimatelySocial
Copy Protected by Chetans WP-Copyprotect.