#write31days – but NOT in bossy britches

When I realized I wasn’t cut out to be a prescriptive blogger, it was very liberating. I don’t LIKE myself when I wear the bossy britches.

(As I said yesterday, “bossy pants aren’t authentic or flattering.”)

If I only wore them when writing DIY posts, it might be OK. Unfortunately, my family knows differently.

bossy britches day 4 header

Stressed = Bossy

When I have way too many things on my list and I’m holding my family to impossibly high standards for chores, I tend to wear the bossy britches.

My husband may or may not have another name for them besides “bossy.” If so, he’d be right. When I start talking bossy, my kids have been known to call it my “mom, I’m not stupid” voice.

If I had to describe my bossy britches, they’d be like the pair of black dress slacks in the back of my closet. The ones I have to wear with foundation layer of lycra and a rather uncomfortable pair of high heels.

The last time I wore them was to withdraw my children from school… because I wanted everyone there to remember how fashionable and together I am.

The time before that, I was having lunch with an old acquaintance that I didn’t particularly care for. It was one of those competitive lunches to see who could order the lowest calorie entrée and leave the most of it on the plate. Then we ordered a big desert to see if who would weaken first. (I think I won, but only because I ate lunch in the car on the way there.)

My bossy britches really don’t flatter me.

They don’t fit my life.  (Lycra undergarments and high heels just don’t make sense when you homeschool).

I wear those pants every time I’m insecure and need to feel better than you.

I wear them every time I’m not comfortable in my own skin.

On a Saturday afternoon when I’m pushing my family for more chore perfection, I’m definitely not wearing black dress pants and high heels. But I’m still wearing those bossy britches.

When I wear the bossy pants, It’s a pretty safe bet that I’m trying to attain some ridiculous level of perfection to impress house guests…

… Because I want everyone to remember how fashionable and together I am.

… Because I’m insecure and need to feel better than you.

… Because I’m not comfortable in my own skin.

For me, writing “do this” blog posts wasn’t any different.

The crazy things is that I’ve met some of those lifestyle bloggers. They can rock the black slacks and high heels for hours in a blogging conference and make it look comfortable.

(The diet bloggers eat healthy food and turn down chocolate chip cookies even when no one is watching. The fitness blogger really did get up at 5am on a Saturday to go work out in the hotel gym. I’ve even met a food blogger who baked cookies to hand out with her business cards.

There may or may not have been an awkward moment when the food blogger and the diet blogger exchanged business cards.)

Why? Because they’re generally writing about something they really have mastered. Many of them will tell you that they struggle in other areas than what they blog about.

Their bossy pants look different than mine.

For me, writing content that triggers my “mom, I’m not stupid” voice isn’t worth it. Writing that isn’t flattering or authentic isn’t writing for the love of writing. (For me, it was writing for the love of Pinterest. Ouch.)

writing to be authentic

Knowing what mine look like was a big part of finding my voice as a writer.

Understanding and accepting that is just as helpful in the rest of my life.

(You can follow my whole 31day series on the LOVE OF WRITING from a single page. Fair warning, I’m probably going to talk about pants again.)

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Susan Baker
I have a passion for encouraging weary worn out mothers to find joy in everyday motherhood and peace in unlikely places. I have two elementary school boys, one nerdy husband, and two cats. I have a strange fascination for bad puns, the color pink, socks, and books. I worry about running out of toilet paper, wine, and chocolate.. I serve an amazing God. I live an ordinary life filled with wonder.
Susan Baker
Susan Baker

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Comments

  1. I know just what you mean. When I put on those bossy pants and start to feel myself getting more stressed it turns me into a person I don’t like very much (I’m sure my husband would second that!). It’s kind of liberating to realize you can and SHOULD write from the heart – always.

    • When I realized some kinds of writing turned me into a full blown drama diva, the solution seemed obvious. Just don’t write that kind of stuff!

  2. More importantly, write with passion.

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