Learning From Your Children

learning from your childrenToday, I’m asking if you are learning from your children… and if so, what have you learned?

This fits into our 31 Days of Joy in Motherhood series under the broad concept of seeing our chldren as treasures like we talked about in the Prospect of Joy post.

(as a quick flash back – one definition of joy includes “the prospect of having what one desires.”  prospect… old prospector out searching for gold… children as treasures.) 

One of the most profound questions I ever heard at a MOPS meeting was

How is God using your children to teach you?

We were asked to jot down a short sentence for each child.

At the time, mine were in diapers.  Mr Picky wasn’t even walking yet.  But I still had profound answers for each child.

(that link is to some really cute photos of life with 2 under 2.  go look, i’ll wait)

Watty is my first born.

I had the typical ten page birth plan with every detail worked out.   I had every detail of his first year planned and documented with lists of what I’d be doing when.  I’d read every parenting, pregnancy, and breast feeding book I could find.  I had the organic cloth diapers washed and folded.

Um, I was maybe a wee bit of a control freak and perfectionist.

(my husband would tell you that’s an under statement.  i was out of control in the control freak department)

You can guess what happened.

It all went horribly wrong.  Except the most important part.  I have a healthy happy boy.

The whirlwind tour?  They thought he was going to be a T18 baby. He wasn’t.  After FIVE DAYS of laboring at a 9.9 without meds, I finally ended up with an emergency c-section.  My milk didn’t come in for a WEEK (and when it did I woke up with full sized watermelons  – I was an L cup.) My child screamed at the sight of my breast and made goo goo eyes for the bottle.  He preferred his daddy over me.   He preferred my MOM over me.

I was one heart broken mom.

I was broken.

God uses broken people.

As I stood over the incubator longing to hold my child (jaundice), I finally let go of being a perfectionist.  I finally let go of trying to control everything.

I am convinced that God gave me Watty to teach me that I’m not the one in control.

Every time Watty struggles in school, I try to control it.  I change his diet, give him vitamins, put him to bed early, add more exercise, cut down on the video games… …. but you know what works?  Prayer.  When I give Watty back to God and PRAY for him, I release control back to God.  And things get better.

I became a stay at home mom when Watty was two.  We finally bonded.  I’m thankful for that second chance.

Mr Picky (aka GoGo) came with a different lesson.

He was born 16 months after Watty.  I showed up for my six month c-section followup visit pregnant.  (granted, i was a month late with the visit, but still…)

From the moment he was born, he was a blissful momma’s boy.

We nursed until he was well past his first birthday.

All those sweet goo-goo eyes and love pats.  All those cuddles and baby coos.  Just for me.

I surrendered to motherhood completely and totally.

I made sacrifices and changes for that child that could only have come from momma love.

(I quit work and cut our income in half because I just couldn’t leave him in daycare.  He wouldn’t have it.)

GoGo taught me about unconditional love and acceptance in a profound way.

And I was healed.

God heals the broken.

I am convinced that God sent me GoGo to teach me about unconditional love.

Mr Picky is my strong willed child.  Don’t believe me?  Go check out the epic pea battle we had (food folks, not the other stuff).   When we hit a wall with him, things get ugly.  I need every bit of momma love I have to stand strong and help him around the wall.  I hang on to that unconditional love lesson for all it’s worth!

There’s more than one lesson.

God continues to use my children to teach me lessons in humility, service, and love.  If you don’t believe me, go read my Hot Dog Story.

I understand more of the character of God because of my experience as a parent than I could ever have imagined.

My kids are treasures.  They really are a gift from God.

Knowing that God picked each child and put them in just the right family (ours) at just the right time and in just the right order… wow.

That makes me feel very blessed.

And that brings me joy.

So I have to ask…

What are you learning from YOUR children?

(sorry if i made you cry today.  i did when i wrote it.)

How has being a mom changed you for the better?

Today’s “Joy Assignment” is to hug your babies tight if they’ll let you.  Then find a few minutes and ask yourself what lessons have you learned from your kids?

And I’d love to hear your story.

[author] [author_image timthumb=’on’]http://thishappymom.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/DSC_0036.jpg[/author_image] [author_info]Houston Mom Blogger Susan Baker has a passion for encouraging weary worn out mothers to find joy in everyday motherhood. She has two elementary school boys, one engineering husband, and one cat. She has a strange fascination for eggs, socks, and books. She spends far too much time on Social Media and at Target. She is crazy in love with her family. She serves an amazing God. She lives an ordinary life filled with wonder. [/author_info] [/author]

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Susan Baker
I have a passion for encouraging weary worn out mothers to find joy in everyday motherhood and peace in unlikely places. I have two elementary school boys, one nerdy husband, and two cats. I have a strange fascination for bad puns, the color pink, socks, and books. I worry about running out of toilet paper, wine, and chocolate.. I serve an amazing God. I live an ordinary life filled with wonder.
Susan Baker
Susan Baker

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Comments

  1. I’m definitely weepy. Thanks. But it was a beautiful tribute to God’s work in you through your boys.

    Mine have taught me so much – good and bad. I’ve seen my lack of patience, my temper, my selfishness, and my ego. I’ve also seen forgiveness, second chances, love, loyalty, and the healing power of laughter.

    • Sorry for the tears. I was weepy as I typed. But it’s so worth it. My boys have shown me my weaknesses in some very humbling ways. They’ve shown me grace when I didn’t deserve it. They are perfect teachers for me. 🙂

  2. God called me to homeschool my children and used that to deepen my faith and dependence upon Him.

    • Yes! I have so much more dependence on God now than I did before kids. I don’t understand how I could be a Mom without God on my side.

  3. wiping tears away…what beautiful lessons you learned from your children.
    Yes…I learned that God gives you what you need, not what you want. Soon you’ll realize that IS what you wanted.
    My Dinosaur taught me that EVERYTHING is unexpected, be prepared for anything. He taught hwo strong love is, we hear about it, but until you meet your child the love is beyond all reason and explanation.
    I learned that I can be creative in the kitchen, I learned what true patience and understanding is.

  4. I love your lessons!

    Miles (1 yr) has taught me:

    1. Trust is a default human position. That kid can trust fall from every elevated surface in the house! He knows I will catch him. (I live in fear of my little climber)

    2. Contrary to my previously held beliefs, I do not know everything. Nothing like a child to teach real humility…all while cooing and stealing your heart.

    • You have some great lessons too! I had a climber and I know exactly what you mean! It’s amazing what they can get into. Fear is learned.

  5. {Melinda} I always say that more than anything else in this world, God has used motherhood to humble me and shape my character to be more like Him. I am a (recovering) perfectionist with a capital P. I expected two very compliant, docile children — like me. 🙂 Well, you guessed it. Iron wills. Both with special needs. It certainly upset my apple cart, but I am now so grateful that they are my children. They are wonderfully unique and God knew I needed them to work out a bunch of junk inside of me that I didn’t even know was there. Beautiful post, Susan. 🙂

    • As a recovering Perfectionist (I used to alphabetize the spice rack) I know exactly what you mean. I am a MUCH better person because I became a mom.

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