Joy in Perspective and Maturity

31 days of joy in motherhoodI wanted to post on Joy today, and I am.

But it’s not exactly the post I had planned to write.  In many ways, it’s better.

I’ve had an interesting 24 hours and have walked away with a fresh insight.

It’s all about perspective and maturity.

Last night, I was on 6th Street.  We shut the bars down.

Translation for those who aren’t from Texas – I was in Austin, home to the University of Texas Longhorns.  On the street with all the college bars.  For Halloween weekend where virtually everyone was decked out in costume.  The bars shut down at 2, but it was almost 4am before I finally got to climb in bed.

I was with a group of ladies celebrating a 21st birthday.

Their mom was there as their chaperone to keep them out of too much trouble.  I went along out of friendship.

Joy in Perspective

The last time I’d been out drinking on 6th street was 1985, when I was 19 (and legal).

It hasn’t changed one bit.

The gross geeky guy trying to scam on cute girls was still there.

The slightly overweight girl with the thin friend was still there… and still getting ignored while everyone wanted to dance with the hot chick.

The endless re-arrangement of each and every strand of hair, the obsessive reapplication of lip gloss, the uncomfortable high heels and push up bras.  Yep – all still there.

The long lines for a dirty restroom, the over priced drinks, the smell of regret in the sewers.  All there.

Why does that matter?

For a mom struggling with the idea that life is passing her by as she stays home on a Saturday night, it’s kind of a big deal.

I can remember feeling like everyone else’s life was going by on fast forward while my own life moved forward on slow motion.  I can remember wondering about the fun cocktail parties and adult activities I was missing out on while I stayed home to change diapers.

I wasn’t missing a thing!

Yes, I missed a few parties.  But my own personal party – the one that happens when I show up – was on PAUSE.

I didn’t miss a thing.

But

(and this is huge)

If I’d spent time partying when my kids were babies, I would have missed SO MUCH.  They don’t have a pause button.

For the young mom who is struggling with all the parties she is giving up right now – please just trust me on this!  Sweetheart, the parties will be there when your kids are older.  It’s worth the wait.  You aren’t missing a thing.

Joy in Maturity

I’ll spare you the math.  I’m 46.  I was partying before those 21 year olds were even born.

In honor of the irony, I went dressed as a grandma.

I had on no make up other than some hideous grey stuff to make my eyebrows grey.  And some bright pink granny lipstick.

(if you can’t tell, i’m the one in the blue and yellow flowered mumu.  that’s my blue flannel house coat in the zebra bag.  i’m wearing tennis shoes and socks to complete the look.  and those are NOT my beers.)

I had a better time at those silly bars last night than I ever did at 19.

I was sober.

I wasn’t worried about any of the same stuff that I worried about at 19.  I knew my husband was at home waiting for me.  I didn’t care if anyone else thought I looked cute.  I had enough sense to have given myself a cash budget and stuck to it.  I was the driver and keeper of the hotel key.  I had on comfortable shoes and my underwear weren’t crawling up into uncomfortable spots.

It was a LOT more fun that way.

What I discovered was that when I got to take my own personal party off of pause, it was well worth the wait.

All the times I’ve grown and become more secure in myself paid off.  All the times I’ve learned from my mistakes and gained wisdom paid off too.  All the things I’ve learned about self sufficiency, self control, and in self worth made it more fun.

Why does this matter?

For the mom who feels like her life is stagnant, just trust me on this.  It may feel like nothing is changing in your life.  Right now, every day looks the same.  Get up, feed the kids, pick up the mess, change the diapers, feed the kids, pick up the mess, change the diapers (repeat until everyone is asleep) and then repeat it again tomorrow.  But (and this is huge) YOU are changing.  You are growing and maturing and developing.  All that repetition is building something inside of you that is lovely and beautiful and amazing.  It is so worth it.

Joy in Motherhood

I’m glad I went, but I was even more glad to get home.

Four hours of sleep just wasn’t enough, and the pizza at 3am left me with indigestion.

I don’t miss the party lifestyle I had in 1985.

I’m looking forward to some other parties though!

Sunday night is dinner-in-bed night at our house.  The movie starts in 10 minutes!

Monday is MOMDAY for me this week.

Wednesday I have a lunch party with my bible study group.

Friday night is a campfire party at the deer lease.  I think I’ll bring marshmallows.

[author] [author_image timthumb=’on’]http://thishappymom.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/DSC_0036.jpg[/author_image] [author_info]Houston Mom Blogger Susan Baker has a passion for encouraging weary worn out mothers to find joy in everyday motherhood. She has two elementary school boys, one engineering husband, and one cat. She has a strange fascination for eggs, socks, and books. She spends far too much time on Social Media and at Target. She is crazy in love with her family. She serves an amazing God. She lives an ordinary life filled with wonder. [/author_info] [/author]

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Susan Baker
I have a passion for encouraging weary worn out mothers to find joy in everyday motherhood and peace in unlikely places. I have two elementary school boys, one nerdy husband, and two cats. I have a strange fascination for bad puns, the color pink, socks, and books. I worry about running out of toilet paper, wine, and chocolate.. I serve an amazing God. I live an ordinary life filled with wonder.
Susan Baker
Susan Baker

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