Are you a hostess? You deserve some M&M’s

Really.  If you are a hostess for a major holiday (like say… Thanksgiving or Christmas) you NEED to buy some M&M’s.  Trust me. Send someone out to get them while you finish reading this post.

I’ll wait.



M&M's for the hostess

M&M’s are about to save your hostess sanity.

Mine are sitting on my kitchen counter in a tiny glass bowl right this very minute saving mine.

It’s about Mary and Martha.  You know, the sisters. One sat at Jesus’ feet while the other was washing dishes.  If you’ve done many bible studies or spent much time in church, you probably remember them. This is from

“As they continued their travel, Jesus entered a village. A woman by the name of Martha welcomed him and made him feel quite at home. She had a sister, Mary, who sat before the Master, hanging on every word he said. But Martha was pulled away by all she had to do in the kitchen. Later, she stepped in, interrupting them. “Master, don’t you care that my sister has abandoned the kitchen to me? Tell her to lend me a hand.” The Master said, “Martha, dear Martha, you’re fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing. One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it—it’s the main course, and won’t be taken from her.”  Luke 10:38-42 (MSG)

Remember them now?

Mary was right there with her guests. She was listening, giving the gift of attention and soaking up every word that Jesus said.

Martha was in the kitchen. She was fussing over things and getting worked up over nothing.

Miss Hostess with the Mostest, I have a question for you.  Right now, right this very minute…

Are you being a Mary or a Martha?

If you’re like me, you’ve probably had a Martha moment or two already today.  If you’re like me, you’ll probably have a few more.

But if we’re honest, we really WANT to be more like Mary. We want to be hanging out with our guests and enjoying them. We WANT to give them the gift of our attention rather than fussing and getting worked up.

Just asking the question helps.

Am I being Mary or Martha?

Am I being M or an M?

M or M?

M & M


The tiny bowl of M&M’s next to my kitchen sink stares at me every time I jump to fuss and fret and get worked up over nothing.  It just sits there, asking me.

Right now, even as I type, some relative is in my kitchen making pies. She makes them differently than my momma taught me (which is to say she is making them WRONG).  Later, she’ll make sweet potatoes all wrong too. But it’s ok. She’s family.

I’m sitting here, paying attention and choosing to not be “fussing far too much and getting myself worked up over nothing.”

I’m staring at a bowl of Mary & Martha’s (I mean M&M’s) and choosing to be Mary.

are you being a mary or a martha

Susan Baker
I have a passion for encouraging weary worn out mothers to find joy in everyday motherhood and peace in unlikely places. I have two elementary school boys, one nerdy husband, and two cats. I have a strange fascination for bad puns, the color pink, socks, and books. I worry about running out of toilet paper, wine, and chocolate.. I serve an amazing God. I live an ordinary life filled with wonder.
Susan Baker
Susan Baker

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  1. What a great idea! We’re at our daughter’s, and I’m enjoying sitting back and letting someone else do all the hostessing. I’m ready to serve in any way she needs me to, but it’s fun to watch her do her thing!

    • I loved it when hostess duty passed to me. The first one was scary, but now its just fun. I love it when guests help – even my MIL and her “wrong” pies. Have fun watching your daughter. You earned the guest status.

  2. LOVE this post, Susan! You are talking about some of my favorite things… food, chocolate, and Mary & Martha. I have written about this story on my blog because I long to be Mary, but easily slip into the Martha trap. Thanks for the reminder today and for the fun message. Many blessings to you and yours this Thanksgiving.

    • My favorite things as well. 🙂 When I was getting ready to host a women’s small group in my home this fall for the very first time, I was beyond stressed out. A friend gently refocused me by asking if I was being a Mary or a Martha. It stuck. It’s such a powerful question that dropped me right at the feet of Jesus. Over the past few days, my little bowl of M&M’s has been a constant reminder. Besides, in my most Mary of moments, I can really use the chocolate!

  3. Love this! Sometimes I find myself being more Mary than Martha; and other times, well more Martha than Mary. Today I am Mom – the eldest (except for my husband) of the family now that my mother has passed. I will enjoy the kids; I will enjoy the in-laws (son-in-laws and daughter-in law); I will enjoy the grands – and I will be Mom. Hoping to share this post with the daughters and encourage them to take a break and be more of a Mary! Of course, the guys take their turns in the kitchen as well; so…Mark and Matthew?! Hope you and your family have a wonderful blessed Thanksgiving!

    • Mark and Matthew. Love it. Being the honored guest is a great role. Enjoy all the grands.

      If I could figure out how to, I would give every hostess I know a small bowl filled with M&M’s. We all need the encouragement and the reminder.

  4. Susan, this is fantastic! Happy Thanksgiving!

  5. This is great. I loved it. My mom is hosting so i guess I better get her some M&Ms. a little off topic, but I’m planning on putting my phone away when the guest arrive. Unplug and be with the ones we love. Happy Thanksgiving.

    • We do a mix of plugged and unplugged. Sometimes, the plugged in break can be a good way to spend time together without conflict. I wish it wasn’t that way, but I’m thankful all the same.

  6. Great illustration 🙂

  7. That is such a simple subtle reminder but I love it! I think I might try that.

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