#write31days | Legacy

Friday night, I came face to face with a writer’s worst nightmare (at least one of mine). I ran out of room on my hard drive.  I had less than 2 gig of free space and Apple kept pestering me to upgrade stuff.  Eeek!

Suddenly, not only was there no room for new words, I was at risk of losing all the existing ones. As I watched the spinning beach ball float endlessly, holding my breath that my beloved laptop would boot one more time, I faced my fears.

What if the only words I have left are the ones I’ve already published?

What if all the unpublished, half finished works suddenly disappear? What if I never was able to publish another thing? What if I never get back on the internet again?

(Ignore the drama. My fears spin out of control about as fast as that stupid beach ball does.)

writing legacy header

The good news is that I’ve gotten enough stuff deleted for my laptop to function again.  I still haven’t upgraded my OS, but that can wait. Almost everything is backed up, but it still needs a thorough organizing (with a heavy emphasis on the delete key).

The better news is that my irrational fear fest led to a really good question.

What will be my blogging legacy?

It’s kind of like the exercise where you’re asked to imagine what would be the epitaph on your tombstone… or what people would say at your funeral… or what would be on your obituary.  If taken seriously, the exercise helps identify priorities and regrets. It can be a great tool to focus.

What if… I never wrote again.

What if… the only way my adult children knew me was through the words I’d written when they were young?

What if… I was on trial for my sanity and my blog was being used as evidence.

What if… you and I were to actually meet in person. Would I be anything like the picture I’ve painted in my words?

Would the stories I’ve shared be enough? If you take all my posts and put them together, is there enough Jesus in there to matter?

What would be my legacy as a writer if I never wrote another word?

And if I don’t like the answer to any of those questions, what on earth do I change?

what would be my legacy

If my first response is “but I haven’t written about X yet…” then what on earth is stopping me from writing about it today?

Legacy.

Y’all, those are some tough questions. They woke me up before the sun. As I’ve frantically cleaned through all the files scattered on my hard drive, I’ve been confronted again and again with the words that I’ve never shared that SHOULD be.  Because the words that scare me the most are the ones someone else needs to hear the most.

I don’t have all the answers right now.  But I don’t have to. Sometimes, the hard part is just figuring out the question.

What if… 

 

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Susan Baker
I have a passion for encouraging weary worn out mothers to find joy in everyday motherhood and peace in unlikely places. I have two elementary school boys, one nerdy husband, and two cats. I have a strange fascination for bad puns, the color pink, socks, and books. I worry about running out of toilet paper, wine, and chocolate.. I serve an amazing God. I live an ordinary life filled with wonder.
Susan Baker
Susan Baker

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