Fun with Google – Again

A large portion of people who read my blog actually end up here as the result of searching for something on Google.  I have access to that info all the time, but most of the time it’s not that unusual.

Then there’s the other kind.  The unusual and logic defying questions.

I’ve talked about this before.  I first wrote a letter to “Mr Google” and his family for their unusual online behavior over a year ago.  It hasn’t gotten any better.

fun with google

Sometimes, Google reflects the mood or season.

Whenever there is an election or political event (or major trauma) I see search results for 2 Chronicles 7:14.

On Fridays I see more hits for Candy Crush Addiction.

On Mondays, I see the predictable searches for Zombies.

Sometimes, Google is predictable.

Apparently, I rock any search involving egg puns.  I get a LOT of traffic for people looking for egg puns and jokes.  I gave up and made a permanent page to feature on my sidebar to help those folks.   (Just click on the eggs. Honest.)

eggs header 2

I also have a few recipes that are wildly popular with search engines.

My shredded brisket taco is the reigning favorite, although pea salad runs a close second.

Some searches worry me.

During the holiday season, I always see a spike in people who find my blog after searching the phrase “weary worn out mom.”  It always tugs at my heart. If I could, I’d go knock on the door of each and every mom who finds me that way.  I’d be rocking my sweat pants and holding coffee in each hand and I’d start by helping with the dishes and cleaning out the fridge of all the gross stuff.

(Honestly, I started trying to figure out exactly which post people find when they look for “weary worn out mom” and couldn’t easily find it.  My whole blog is pretty much an open letter on the subject.)

This year, I’m seeing an equal spike in people searching for stuff on handguns.  (I have no idea why. I barely talk about hunting OR guns! I have begun to worry that maybe someone thinks the weary worn out moms are all packing handguns.  Yikes!)

(I also see some rather worrisome search results that involve the words “sniffing” and “mother.”  I’ll spare you the details.)

Sometimes the posts crack me up.

As part of my ongoing effort to be helpful, I’d like to answer a few of those questions.

Q:  Can you make brisket into pulled pork using a crockpot?
A:  No.  Brisket comes from cows.  Pork comes from pigs.  The crockpot is not a magical device to turn one kind of animal into another.

Q: What is the proper way to cuss without using any of the letters.
A:  Ladies don’t cuss.

Q:  What is a chicken farming mission statement?
A:  To grow happy chickens.

Q:  What will third grade be like for a kid?
A: Much like second grade, only with bigger desks.  There might be multiplication and cursive.

Q: How many pairs of socks to I need?
A: I’ve found that one at a time generally works for me.  However, when it’s really cold I’ve been known to wear two pair at a time.

fun with google

My current favorites?

(I’m hoping someone was just having fun with Google.  But you never know.)

I’m a zombie. (No, no you’re not.  Zombies don’t use the internet because they have no brains.)

With no time for shopping name something a busy housewife served for dinner.  (That would be pizza or maybe spaghetti or even eggs.  Last night, it was definitely pizza.)

Fertilize me.  (If you haven’t read it, one of my favorite posts of all times is the one about ice cream, s-e-x, and fertilization.)

christmas page

 Looking for a Christmas post instead? You can find them all on the Christmas Page!

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Susan Baker
I have a passion for encouraging weary worn out mothers to find joy in everyday motherhood and peace in unlikely places. I have two elementary school boys, one nerdy husband, and two cats. I have a strange fascination for bad puns, the color pink, socks, and books. I worry about running out of toilet paper, wine, and chocolate.. I serve an amazing God. I live an ordinary life filled with wonder.
Susan Baker
Susan Baker

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Comments

  1. I love Google Analytics! I have a whole post written about what searches people have used to find me… I’ve been saving it for a rainy day. Maybe I’ll publish it tomorrow!
    Angel The Alien recently posted..I Got Mail!My Profile

  2. BWAH HA HA HA!! This is so D@MN awesome (oops, I guess that does not make me a lady!)…LOVE this post! We get the craziest search terms, too! ;)-Ashley
    thedoseofreality recently posted..The 5 Best Recipes For Christmas Cookies Ever!My Profile

    • Ashley, I’ve turned you back into a lady by use of the handy @ symbol. Thanks so much for giving me the chance to demonstrate how to cuss without using letters. I’m sure the original googler will be thrilled with our demonstration.

      Apparently googler is not a real word. yet.

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