Dear Spammer – About your grammar….

I’ve been having a bit of a fit this weekend about grammar (or rather, the lack of it by Spammers).

If you follow me on Facebook (and you should) you may have seen a few snarky remarks.

If you follow me on Pinterest (and you should) you may have seen me throw a pin fit as I created a new board dedicated to the subject.

(that was Saturday night, right as Pinterest stopped working for all of my friends. i may or may not have inadvertently broken pinterest. oops.)

Before I launch into a full blown rant on the subject, I need to get a few details out of the way.

Grammar disclosure:

I am a (former) High School English teacher.  I received my undergraduate degree from Texas A&M, so feel free to insert your favorite Aggie joke here.

Writing about grammar makes me nervous.  I KNOW that I break the rules.  I know full well that my writing features the occasional typo, mis-spelling, grammatical error, and just plain awkward phrase.  Sometimes, I just have to press the publish button and get on with my day.

There is, in my mind, a difference in the writing and grammar rules used in English classes and those of the real world.

Besides, if I wrote my blog posts like I used to write my college papers no one would want to read them.  Not even me.  Just… trust me on this one.

Spammer Grammar

I loathe spam.

Well, that’s not quite fair.  I have a love-hate relationship with it.  I love to hate it.  But I don’t want to just delete it.  I like to read it and make fun of it.  Now that I’ve given up Candy Crush I need something to do in car line.

The last time I wrote about spam was about a year ago.  I loved the results.

spam on spam

Lately, I’ve been enjoying the attention of a spammer who has a… tentative grasp on the English language.

Pretty element of content. I simply stumbled upon your blog and in accession capital to assert that I acquire actually loved account
your blog posts. Any way I’ll be subscribing to your augment or even I fulfillment you get entry to persistently quickly.

Can I get that again in actual English?

They also have a rather odd sense of how to relate the comment to the content.

Oh! its really a great offer. I think this post would be helpful for all. To promote the real estate business this post is much more effective. keep it up.

They were commenting on a recipe for Chicken and Dumplings.  I am SOOOOO confused!

I’d find the whole thing much more annoying if they weren’t so obsequious about it all.

Hi there to all, the contents existing at this website are actually awesome for people knowledge, well, keep up the good work fellows.

It’s in point of fact a nice and helpful piece of
information. I’m satisfied that you simply shared this useful
info with us. Please stay us up to date like this.
Thank you for sharing.

aw…. You’re welcome.  It gives me a warm feeling to think of some spammer stumbling on my blog and gaining inspiration to have a better life.

Dealing with spam is just part of running a blog.  For the most part, it’s not that hard to push the spam button and move on with my day.

Illiteracy annoys me.

I’m also annoyed when my phone notifies me of comments at 2am, but that’s my fault for not muting the thing.

But no matter how annoyed I get, I can still appreciate the irony of this comment.

An individual you should fix this grammar on line thirteen. Ive located several internet sites like (spammy website url) that has writers and fans with very poor grammar also.

and this one

Good day! I know this is kind of off topic but I was wondering if you knew where I could locate
a captcha plugin for my comment form? I’m using the same blog platform as yours and I’m having difficulty finding one?

Captcha is the annoying program that requires you to decipher random letters and numbers to prove you aren’t a spambot.  I loathe captcha more than spam.

irony in action from a spammer

It’s just that… I’d find the irony more enjoyable if it was properly punctuated.  The poor syntax grates on me.  I keep wanting to correct the comments before spamming them.

Have a spam problem?  Care to comment?  Want to share your feelings about captcha?

Get social:
Susan Baker
I have a passion for encouraging weary worn out mothers to find joy in everyday motherhood and peace in unlikely places. I have two elementary school boys, one nerdy husband, and two cats. I have a strange fascination for bad puns, the color pink, socks, and books. I worry about running out of toilet paper, wine, and chocolate.. I serve an amazing God. I live an ordinary life filled with wonder.
Susan Baker
Susan Baker

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Comments

  1. Same here! hahaha I loathe captcha than spam! haha very good and interesting story! By the way can you help me how to get captcha? I’m using the same blog platform as yours and I’m having difficulty finding one?

    HAHAHA Just kidding.. Very nice topic!

  2. Thats a very interesting article there. I really like how you have used the images and the text in them to express your feelings.
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