Hamburger shapes matter

There is a reason that hamburgers have their shape.  Hamburger shapes matter.  A lot.

I don’t know what all was going through the mind of the person who invented hamburgers, but I’m pretty sure there were a few trial and error attempts along the way.  There’s no other reason why they ended up in an easily cooked form that fits perfectly between two slabs of bread.. all without resembling anything unfortunate.

Yesterday, I decided to mess with that burger shape.  I paid a price.

I had about two pounds of ground turkey to cook and I was in a hurry.  It was 9am and I had exactly two hours to prep, pack, and deliver my husband’s lunch before  making the return trip to VBS pickup.

(the goal is to pack his lunch before he leaves.  but yesterday was one of THOSE days from start to finish. i went to bed at 6pm and stayed there.)

Because they were all destined to become turkey taco burgers, I was in mass production mode.

(yes, turkey taco burgers.  my husband objects to ground turkey meat because of the taste.  but if i season it like tacos then you can’t taste the meat.  he’s fine with that, so turkey tacos it is.)

I also knew that I’m on a low-carb thing and that hamburger buns aren’t in my future this summer.  Hubby and I are eating a lot of low carb tortilla wraps and lettuce wraps.  Sigh.    Loose ground turkey meat isn’t exactly wrap friendly.

So I decided to experiment.

I decided to form the turkey into little shapes that were more… wrap friendly.  In my imagination, I was seeing perfectly formed little shapes.  But because I was in a hurry, things became a little more organically shaped.  I formed quick tubes of turkey meat and plopped them on the griddle as fast as I could.

(i should have realized that if McDonald’s is going to leave the meat for their wraps in a patty shape there was a darn good reason. but once i get an idea in my head, all bets are off.)

They were kind of uneven and a few of them weren’t even straight.  After I plopped the last one on the griddle, I noticed one of them was… special.

One of them looked a little bit like something a neighbor dog left in my yard.

this does not end well

I stood there giggling, mesmerized by the idea that I was making something so… um.. dog log shaped.   I could barely stand still long enough to take a photo.

I giggled so hard that I let a few of them brown a bit too much.  It did NOT help.  I imagined the slang name for a sandwich made with those little taco logs.  I was visualizing the world’s best April Fool’s prank.

I stood there helpless in the kitchen as I slowly cooked two dozen “organically shaped” turkey tacos.

Yesterday’s lunch was a taco salad.  It was a bed of nice leafy greens with a small pile of three turkey taco “logs” on it.   It looked exactly like what you’re imagining.

turkey taco salad

(sigh, the photos don’t do it justice.  sorry, i was laughing too hard.)

I packed up the turkey taco salads and delivered lunch to my husband without a word.   Giggle.  He was very kind and said it looked like a middle-Eastern ka-bab and not like the other thing at all.

So there you have it.  Turkey Taco Ka-babs.  Not at all like a …… um…. the other thing at all.

For what it’s worth, they were delicious.  As you can imagine, my kids refused to taste them.

I still say the hamburger is shaped like it is for a reason.

Can you imagine if the original inventor had gotten it wrong?

At what point would you have come to your senses and NOT finished this dish?  Would you have been able to eat it without a case of the giggles?

Susan Baker
I have a passion for encouraging weary worn out mothers to find joy in everyday motherhood and peace in unlikely places. I have two elementary school boys, one nerdy husband, and two cats. I have a strange fascination for bad puns, the color pink, socks, and books. I worry about running out of toilet paper, wine, and chocolate.. I serve an amazing God. I live an ordinary life filled with wonder.
Susan Baker
Susan Baker

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  1. Very funny…I would have been laughing too! But you were creative at least!
    Michelle recently posted..It’s a Funtastical Summer {Ladies Only Blog Share Link Party}My Profile

  2. This is the funniest thing EVER. You made the Rollie Egg Master of hamburgers! I guess the cylindrical shape isn’t best for ALL food after all. That salad…oh boy!! Hahahahahaha. –Lisa
    TheDoseofReality recently posted..Hunger Is Something We Take PersonallyMy Profile

    • I started to pin that salad photo to Pinterest but lost my nerve. It was just too much! I could NOT stop laughing about it. I took the rest of the rollie things and sliced them into disks. It was the only way I could eat them.

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