My toilet paper obsession confession

I may have mentioned it in passing before – I am kind of obsessed with buying toilet paper.

(remember, i wrote about it as a MOMtor?  My kids have used the stuff in their zombie exploits.  It even featured in the birth story of my younger son (well, kind of a birth story… or something like that)

Even when we were remodeling and living in our RV, I continued to buy more of the stuff than we could store.  I drove around for months with a 36 pack of double rolled Cottonelle in the back of my car because I had no place to put it.

My comfort zone these days is a minimum of 36 rolls.  If I have to break into the plastic wrapping around that bulk pack, I start getting twitchy.

My husband’s response to my toilet paper obsession alternates between amusement, annoyance, and delight.

At one point, as I was dragging home yet more toilet paper, he seemed to be encouraging me.

Me:  Do you think I have enough?
Him:  Do you have a year’s worth?
Me:  ummm, I’m not sure I would know where to STORE a year’s worth of TP.
Him:  If I get laid off, I won’t want to be buying TP and I don’t want to do without.  It’s not a luxury item.

For the record, we don’t have a year’s worth of the stuff in our house.  I might have enough to last three months, but only if nothing crazy happens.

Crazy always happens.

Not worrying about running out of toilet paper is one of my biggest “wife accomplishments.”   We’ve been married since 1999 and I don’t think the man has EVER had a toilet paper crisis in our marriage.   The fact that he treasures this tells you something about his bachelor days.

(paper towels.  giggle.)

my toilet paper obsession confession

My mom encourages me.

I’ve been known to call my mom and brag about a really good score on toilet paper prices.  To impress her, it has to be on any of the three major brands that are on the acceptable list.  The price has to work out at less than 25cents per single roll of TP.

And it has to be unscented.  She and I both find scented TP confusing.

Random fact:  There is a VERY short list of stuff I refuse to buy from the dollar store.  Private label toilet paper, feminine hygiene products, and peanut butter are at the top of the list.  At least one of those I learned the hard way.

I refuse to buy Aloe treated TP.

My sweet mother-in-law is allergic to aloe vera.  It causes her to break out in a painful itchy raised red rash everywhere it contacts with her skin.

She visits my house from time to time.

Painful itchy allergic reaction + allergen infused toilet paper = unimaginable ickiness.

Yes, it would exactly what you just imagined.  I live in horror of the thought.

My kids are amused by toilet paper.

When I find a good sale on the stuff, I fill the shopping cart.   Once, I lost all control and filled TWO shopping carts.  It was 25cents for a four pack of the good stuff, can you blame me?

I ended up with more toilet paper than I could fit in the back of the car.  My kids had to hold it in their laps until we got home.

It turns out all those four packs make a great building material.

My kids built a fort.  Out of toilet paper.

(well, mostly tp.  they raided the stash of individually wrapped paper towels to finish their creation.  i might have had a shopping cart full of THOSE as well.)

When your kids start building with giant paper building blocks, it takes Angry Birds to an entirely new level.

Now it’s your turn.

It’s time for your confession.  Do you have a toilet paper obsession?  Or perhaps a paper towel story to share?  Have you learned the hard way about the dollar store stuff?

Susan Baker
I have a passion for encouraging weary worn out mothers to find joy in everyday motherhood and peace in unlikely places. I have two elementary school boys, one nerdy husband, and two cats. I have a strange fascination for bad puns, the color pink, socks, and books. I worry about running out of toilet paper, wine, and chocolate.. I serve an amazing God. I live an ordinary life filled with wonder.
Susan Baker
Susan Baker

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  1. I buy when its on sale too! My dog loves toilet paper so I have to put it away right away or it will be shredded all over the house!
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  2. HA HA HA!! Cracking up at this post! My hubby is a big fan of having loads of TP on hand as well! :)-Ashley
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  3. this is a very funny story. Your ideas are very good. Wow! Am impressed by the way if have put the story down.

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