An apology to the third grade

Dear third grade parents, teachers, and students

On behalf of my son, Watty, I’d like to apologize.  He stayed home yesterday because he was sick, and I may have been a bad influence on him.

(yes, i know this is the second time this year i’ve apologized. last time, it was my grandmother’s fault.)

First, it was about history.

its my dutyWe were working on that history assignment that’s due today.  You know, the one where we have to find an internet article about a historical figure and print it out?

Well, Watty’s figure is Robert E Lee.

I thought that was kind of cool because I can show him the family history of how we’re related to the Lee family.

He thought it was cool for a different reason.

Watty:  It’s because Robert E Lee did his duty.

Me: That’s interesting

(i’m thinking it’s cool that they emphasized that Lee really didn’t want to fight for the South, he did so out of a sense of duty to his state and loyalty to his troops.  what a great parenting moment i was about to have.  not!)

Watty:  (giggling)  Get it?  Dooootie…  doooodie

Me: What?

Watty:  General Lee did his doodie….

(did my son just say that?  is he really making a pun on duty and a slang term for going potty?)

Me:  General Lee did his duTy.

Wattty:  No… General Lee did his doodie.

duty punAt that point, I started laughing right along with my son.  I couldn’t help it.  It was funny.    I know I shouldn’t have encouraged him, but it was actually a really good pun and you KNOW how I feel about puns.

Then, it was about video games.

My son wasn’t content to just leave it at General Lee and his… duty.

Watty:  It’s kind of like when Daddy plays that video game.

Me: Which one is that?

Watty:  You know… Call of Doodie….

At that point, my son is rolling on the bed laughing.  He confesses that every time he hears “Call of Duty” he thinks someone has to go to the bathroom.

I can’t help it. It was funny.

And that’s when I went over the line.

I channeled Beavis.

Or maybe it was the other one. I’m not sure.

Me:  Heh. heheh.  heheheheh.  You said “doodie.”

Watty:  What?

I realized my son had never heard of Beavis or Butthead.  So I showed him.   (it was… cultural literacy… yeah… that’s the ticket.)

It didn’t take long for Watty to master the laugh.

(i did NOT show him the cornholio episode.  i saved that… for later.  probably when we’re on vacation and hubby is around.  because it will be epic.)

Third Grade, I’m soooooo sorry.

dear third gradeThis morning, I’m picturing my sweet little boy sitting in history class, working on his General Lee assignment.  I’m picturing him doing the Beavis laugh as he thinks about the General’s “call of doodie.”

I’m picturing my son, on the playground, teaching other little boys.

And I realize I may have had a lapse in judgment.  I’m really really sorry.

Out of curiosity, how old should the kids be when we introduce them to Wayne’s World?

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Susan Baker
I have a passion for encouraging weary worn out mothers to find joy in everyday motherhood and peace in unlikely places. I have two elementary school boys, one nerdy husband, and two cats. I have a strange fascination for bad puns, the color pink, socks, and books. I worry about running out of toilet paper, wine, and chocolate.. I serve an amazing God. I live an ordinary life filled with wonder.
Susan Baker
Susan Baker

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  1. I am so laughing! I’m not sure at what age you introduce them to Wayne’s World, but I am quite certain mine all saw it too young. In fact, I sat through one of those stupid humor movies with my youngest son when he was sick last year (5th grade) and we laughed the whole time. My husband was shocked I let him watch it, but hello, he let them watch Stepbrothers. There’s another inappropriate one if I ever saw it. Here’s my feeling, if the kids know its inappropriate and they can understand that, I’m not going to go crazy about it! Maybe that’s bad, but my kids are pretty good kids overall. Its not the end of the world.
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    • My kids are in 1st and 3rd grade. They’re good kids, and they DO understand that different things are appropriate in different circumstances. I started teaching them that years ago. It’s not like they haven’t been exposed to a few bad words and some potty humor before now.

      I just got to giggling at the image of an entire class of 3rd grade boys doing the he-heheh-heheheheheh laugh. Giggle.

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