Doing what scares me most

what scares me mostWhen I was working on my resolutions for the year, I realized that I was writing down some stuff that fell in the category of “doing what scares me most.”  I wrote it down anyway.

This week, I pulled one of those “jump first, think later” moves and landed myself smack dab in the middle of scary stuff.

After dithering about it for months, I hauled off and signed up to become a party hostess for one of those companies that sells stuff to women via direct marketing.  No, I’m not trying to sell YOU stuff in this post. Don’t run away.

I’m fairly shy in real life. I am not a natural sales person.  I’m not tremendously organized or perky or whatever else comes to your mind when you think about a successful party sales lady.

Doing this hits almost every one of my insecurities and weaknesses.

When I look at that way, it’s a silly thing for me to do.  I confess, I thought about calling them up and telling them I’d changed my mind.

I could make a really long list of reasons why I won’t succeed and why it the whole thing is a bad idea.  I could walk away mumbling something about not wanting to waste anyone else’s time or any more of my own money.

And that would be really really comfortable.

Quitting before I fail would be easy.

Out of curiosity, I decided to click on their training.

Something. Just. Clicked.

In a twisted way that had NOTHING to do with what was on the training script, I could see how doing this was the right decision.

I decided to try to make a go out of this party business precisely because it won’t be easy.  I realized that I’d gotten myself into an amazing opportunity to challenge myself and make myself grow.

I realized that this was one of those “what scares me most” things that I just needed to face head on.

Quite frankly, I’m tired of feeling limited by my lack of self confidence.  I’m weary of being shy.  I’m not satisfied to be limited by my own weakness.

This may be heresy to the hardcore sales people, but I honestly don’t care if I make a single dime at this.  I’m not excited by the free trip or the double platinum status or whatever else it is that is supposed to motivate me to sell my little heart out.  I’m motivated to overcome my own insecurities and grow stronger.   I’m amped up at the idea of being more confident and more organized.

I’m doing what scares me most.

I may fail spectacularly.  If I do, I’m OK with that.  To me, that’s better than hiding in my safety spot and never trying.

On the other hand, I may not fail.

And that thought excites me.  The idea of being a more confident, self sufficient, organized person just thrills me to no end.

I’m serious.  If I were to make a list of the five things about myself that I wish I could change, it feels like the same five things I will have to develop to be decent at this stuff.  That’s either a recipe for disaster or a formula for something amazing.

It’s not  easy.

I still want to chicken out.

But I have this vision in my head of how this all fits together as part of a larger “thing” that God has planned for my life.  Doing party sales is a teeny tiny part.  It’s just for a short season… because I need to grow.

So I’m going to do what scares me most.

I must be crazy.

I’d love some words of encouragement from you.  I think I’m going to need them!

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Susan Baker
I have a passion for encouraging weary worn out mothers to find joy in everyday motherhood and peace in unlikely places. I have two elementary school boys, one nerdy husband, and two cats. I have a strange fascination for bad puns, the color pink, socks, and books. I worry about running out of toilet paper, wine, and chocolate.. I serve an amazing God. I live an ordinary life filled with wonder.
Susan Baker
Susan Baker

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Comments

  1. Mothering From Scratch says:

    {Melinda} Good for you … I find myself out of my comfort zone all the time and it scares me to death. But this is where God shines!

  2. Yay! Good for you! You’re very brave to lay out your insecurities for all of your readers. Remember every person at your parties- or at least 90% of them– are just as scared of stepping outside their comfort zone as you are. And it is in our weakness that God shines!
    You’ll do great!
    Melinda Stanton recently posted..A Fruitful Marriage– New Series at A Biblical MarriageMy Profile

    • For whatever reason, I don’t see laying out my insecurities as a big deal. It’s probably because if you met me in real life you’d be able to figure it out in about 2 seconds flat. I’m a fairly transparent person. I also figure if my friends know my weaknesses, most of them will try to help me overcome them (or at least compensate for them).

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