Worst Date Ever

worst date everLooking back, it was the worst date ever.  At least I can laugh about it now.

Even though I’m a happily married woman (and have been since 1999) I still remember how horrible dating can be when things go wrong.

Way back in the 90’s, internet dating was still a novel idea.  The internet was mostly driven by dial-up.  Social media wasn’t a pervasive part of my life.  My cell phone was dumb.  We’re talking Web 1.0 folks.

I was on the cutting edge when I started using the internet to find a man worth dating back then.  It didn’t always go smoothly, and it produced my worst date ever.

“Dave” and I had been emailing back and forth for about three weeks before I agreed to meet him in person.  We’d exchanged enough information that I knew his full name, what he did for a living (engineer), what kind of car he drove (european sports car), and what he looked like.

When we exchanged photos, I sent him a carefully selected photo that showed my best features without making me look sleazy or desperate.  He sent me a photo from a party.  There was a really cute guy’s face taking up most of the photo, but you could see his friends having a good time in the background.

As usual, I sent all of the information to a good friend.  I told her where we were meeting and arranged for her to page me ten minutes into the date.

When I got to the parking lot, I was barely out of my car before this guy was there, standing mere inches from me and making it impossible for me to get away.  He was calling me by name and said that he was Dave.

It was NOT the guy in the photo.

It wasn’t the cute hunky guy that dominated the photo he had sent me.  Instead, it was one of the drunk looking friends in the background of the photo.

Instead of a nicely dressed, well-groomed man like I was expecting, I had Dave.  Ragged greasy blue jeans, dirty tennis shoes, and a flannel shirt with a torn pocket.  He smelled… well… nasty.

Then I looked around for the fancy European sports car he had written about.

It wasn’t the right car.

He pointed to a rust bucket twenty year old Italian car that was next to mine in the parking lot.  It was his car.  I could see that the backseat was filled with fast food containers and empty beer cans.  Nasty.

Dave began to steer me into the restaurant.  As much as I didn’t want to be around the man, I realized I would rather be in a business with witnesses than stand around in a mostly empty parking lot next to the man’s car.

I walked briskly into the restaurant, not even bothering to let him open the door for him.  We were quickly seated and the waitress brought us chips and salsa.

You won’t believe what happened to the salsa.

When Dave went to put his chip into the salsa, he dipped the chip in until his fingers were immersed in the salsa up to his knuckles.  With chips spewing out of his mouth, he told me how much he loved the salsa.

Then he double dipped.

That’s when I noticed that his nails were filthy.  There was dirt and grease under his fingernails.  It was nasty.

I pointedly asked the waitress for my own salsa bowl.

Dave started to explain that it was impossible to keep his hands looking nice because of his job.

He wasn’t an engineer.

It turns out that Dave was a sanitation engineer.  He drove a garbage truck.

(there’s really nothing more that needs to be said on the subject.  is there?  i mean, there’s nothing wrong with driving a garbage truck.  it’s an admirable job.  but when a lady is thinking her date is an electrical or mechanical engineer with a white color job and a college degree, sanitation engineer is a bit of a let down.)

That’s when my friend paged me.

(my friend rocks.  she was early.)

I ran to the bathroom to use the pay phone to talk to my friend.

(that’s back when there were pay phones near most bathrooms, probably for just such an emergency.  i had a cell phone in my purse, but there was no way i was taking this call from the table.)

I told my friend to come rescue me because I really was unsure if I’d be able to leave safely.  She dropped everything, grabbed her husband, and started driving to my rescue.

I decided to hang out in the bathroom.  I just couldn’t face Dave another second.

After about five minutes, the waitress came in.  She let me know that Dave had left and stuck me with the bill.  I refused to leave the bathroom until my friend arrived, just in case.

(i’m NOT the only person who has ever tipped a waitress while in the bathroom.  it turned out that good old “dave” met a different woman at this restaurant three or four times a week. most of the women ended up hiding in the bathroom until a friend rescued them.)

It was the worst date ever.

When I got home, Dave had sent me an email asking me out for a second date.  He signed his name “Bill.”

After I blocked all his emails, I took a very long shower.

hot to not date

If you’ve ever had a date as bad as mine, I’m sorry!  I’d love to hear the details if it’ll make you feel better.

[author] [author_image timthumb=’on’]http://thishappymom.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/DSC_0036.jpg[/author_image] [author_info]Houston Mom Blogger Susan Baker has a passion for encouraging weary worn out mothers to find joy in everyday motherhood. She has two elementary school boys, one engineering husband, and one cat. She has a strange fascination  for eggs, socks, and books.  She spends far too much time on Social Media and at Target. She is crazy in love with her family.  She serves an amazing God.   She lives an ordinary life filled with wonder. [/author_info] [/author]

 

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Susan Baker
I have a passion for encouraging weary worn out mothers to find joy in everyday motherhood and peace in unlikely places. I have two elementary school boys, one nerdy husband, and two cats. I have a strange fascination for bad puns, the color pink, socks, and books. I worry about running out of toilet paper, wine, and chocolate.. I serve an amazing God. I live an ordinary life filled with wonder.
Susan Baker
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Comments

  1. Oh laughing so hard…wow, what a date. that is crazy. What a creepy guy, the waitress should have warned any woman who walked in with him to go straight to the bathroom.
    karen recently posted..Rules of a Peanut Butter and Jelly SandwichMy Profile

  2. It’s been a few years, but as I recall the waitress did at least seat us in a clearly visible location.

    Unfortunately, it was a booth. Ugh. I waited until he sat down and then sat down on the opposite side. Imagine the poor woman who sat down first and got pinned into the booth.

    Nasty.

    Nasty nasty nasty.

    I can laugh about it now, but at the time it was a little bit scary, a little bit humiliating, and a lot of disgusting.

    um… gonna go take a shower now.
    susan recently posted..Doing what scares me mostMy Profile

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  4. This is a very interesting story. Loved reading it to the end. Thank you for sharing.

  5. Wauw, this sounds like a horrorstory! How creepy can men be??? The good thing is, you could laugh with it afterwards! Dating can be hard sometimes….

  6. Wow a crazy date story for sure, must say I laughed and then felt more than a bit guilty! Good to get away from a creep like that

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  7. Looks like you had a classic internet creep. That\’s why I never use online dating to meet people. Now it\’s obvious, but I guess back in the 90\’s when online dating was still in it\’s birth it wasn\’t so obvious.

  8. Looks like you had a classic internet creep. That’s why I never use online dating to meet people. Now it’s obvious, but I guess back in the 90’s when online dating was still in it’s birth it wasn’t so obvious.
    Nikki recently posted..How to Make Him Desire You – My Honest ReviewMy Profile

  9. What a horrible but also funny story!That is why I do not like online dating. I mean, meeting someone that we do not know before all alone may be turn into such horrible than best as we dreamed. However, Bill should know how to treat women on a date. It is not about his job I guest. It depends on each personality. Gladly you can escape finally…LOL. Keep sharing!
    jennifer recently posted..4 Most Popular Hair Accessories for Winter SeasonMy Profile

  10. I was on a date that horrible myself but I can’t remember it being that bad where I had to act like I was going to the bathroom to call my friend. I can’t believe dave lied about how he looked, the car he drove, and being an engineer. I mean don’t people online realize that eventually the truth will come out and they won’t have a shot with you because they lied?
    Melony recently posted..5 Ways You Can Tell If Your Girlfriend is Over Her Ex or NotMy Profile

    • Melony, I’m SOOOOO glad I’m happily married and don’t have to face dating any longer! This was my WORST date but it was by no means the only date I had where the guy mis-represented himself online. I never did understand!

  11. Indeed, worst date ever! Hahaha… I can’t imagine myself being place with this kind of situation, I don’t really know how to handle.

  12. Wow, I’m sorry – but that is just too funny! LOL

    Thanks for sharing that and making my day go by much smoother – had to read it twice just to make sure I didn’t miss anything 🙂

    <3 Deb
    Deborah recently posted..10 Dirty Questions To Ask A Guy While TextingMy Profile

  13. Susan, I read your article with much interest, I can relate to so much of what you wrote. It’s amazing just how far online dating has progressed beyond emailing back and forth. Technology just makes it a bit too easy. I think it has a lot to do with why people are increasingly looking at other avenues to fill voids in their life that seem beyond repair.

  14. Yes you are right, for best and realistic date best to visit @ millionairematchwebsite(dot)com. Where you can find your perfect soul mate..

  15. Great post susan.

    Thanks for sharing this amazing story for all to read and learn from it.

    very real and also educative

    thanks

  16. I can’t believe that you kept the date going that long!
    Its very poor form for Dave to leave you and stick you with the bill though. Un-gentlemen like.

    I wonder where Dave is today… 🙂

  17. All I can say is WoW! How crazy is that? Thanks for the story. I really enjoyed it.

  18. Hello Susan, sorry to hear about your worst date ever!! First date is a very precious moment of my life. Thankfully my date was not worst but it was interesting and full of fun. My date and I’ve great time together and because of our good connection since first date to now we are having good time and just recently go got married.

  19. this is great to see that type of beautiful post also i see it’s look over a lots of people.

  20. Hi Susan, This is really crazy story but also funny story, I liked the way you have outline the article. Thanks for shearing. Keep it up.

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