Desperately Seeking Solitude

solitude with thishappymom.comYes, I’m writing again about solitude.

It’s part of an on again off again series.  I would write about it more often, but lately… there hasn’t been time for solitude.  I’ve had remodelers or kids in my house every single day since early December.

It all started with a Five Minute Friday post on QUIET.

Then we went on our camping trip last Thanksgiving.   I was thankful for the solitude.

It wasn’t until we were HOME from the camping trip that I realized I had stuff to say on the subject and wrote solitude part 3.  

Then on December 13th, I wrote about how I wanted some camping solitude.   The painters had already been there for two weeks at that point.  The painters are STILL HERE.

And I’m once again seeking solitude.

This morning, I have a wee bitty bit of it.  It’s enough.  Almost.

My husband and kids left the house at 7am on a Saturday.  The plumber is due at 9.  So I had the whole entire house to myself for two hours.

I got dressed on my schedule.  I piddled.  And at 8:45am I sat down to blog.

That’s when it happened.

The silence descended on me like a kiss.  I wasn’t multi-tasking.  I had no fear of interruption.  And I felt that tiny spring inside of me unwind.

Aaahhh.  Bliss.

And I am humbled.

When the spring unwinds I can look up from my daily chaos and see God’s hand.  I can see the patterns of how my crazy random life weaves together.  I can see reason and purpose and timing.

For a brief moment, all the random stuff make sense.

Last Thanksgiving, God knew (even though I did not) that I would be plunging headlong back into the remodel thing.  And so He filled me to the brim that week with space and calm and quiet.  At the end of that week I was refreshed and renewed and full.

At the time, I thought it was enough to get me through the holidays.  Instead, it was more.  It was enough to get me to here. To today.

It’s not what I expected.

When we started remodeling our home, part of our plan was to have a home that welcomed others.

Not in the fancy hand-embossed dinner menu way.  We wanted (and still want) to welcome people authentically… to be a place where it’s comfortable to hang out and laugh and be real.

I just didn’t expect the first guests to happen so soon.

I’ve lost count of the men who have been here working.  But they’ve watched me.  They’ve seen me discipline my children, honor my husband, and run my household.  They’ve seen me facing chaos and mess and drama.  They’ve seen me cry at bad news and keep going.

And one by one, they’ve asked about my faith.

Some ask where I attend church.  Others ask why we haven’t lawyered up and started suing the pants off of someone over this mess.  Others have asked how I’m still standing in the middle of pure chaos.  But they all ask.

And I tell them.

I tell them about a God who loves me enough to send me to the woods and fill me up with solitude when I need it most.  I tell them about my unswerving belief that God has a plan and a purpose for my life – even the messy bits.  I tell them about how God’s love and grace is big enough to share – even when things go wrong.

And today, when the house is empty and the plumber ran late, that’ enough.

Once again, I am full.

Once again, the solitude has worked it’s magic.

And now I’m laughing.

As I’m putting the finishing touches on this post, my husband and kids returned.   The plumber is here.  My silent time is gone for the weekend.  But I got what I needed.  Not a minute more, but it was enough.

Don’t you just love God’s timing?

[author] [author_image timthumb=’on’]http://thishappymom.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/DSC_0036.jpg[/author_image] [author_info]Houston Mom Blogger Susan Baker has a passion for encouraging weary worn out mothers to find joy in everyday motherhood. She has two elementary school boys, one engineering husband, and one cat. She has a strange fascination  for eggs, socks, and books.  She spends far too much time on Social Media and at Target. She is crazy in love with her family.  She serves an amazing God.   She lives an ordinary life filled with wonder. [/author_info] [/author]

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Susan Baker
I have a passion for encouraging weary worn out mothers to find joy in everyday motherhood and peace in unlikely places. I have two elementary school boys, one nerdy husband, and two cats. I have a strange fascination for bad puns, the color pink, socks, and books. I worry about running out of toilet paper, wine, and chocolate.. I serve an amazing God. I live an ordinary life filled with wonder.
Susan Baker
Susan Baker

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