Felicity (giggle) really is just another word for joy

felicityAs I’ve already confessed, the word “felicity” makes me giggle.

I know now that it’s just an old fashioned word for happiness, joy, and bliss.  But I used to think it meant something else.

It was generally used in the context of “I hope you have a felicitous marriage” when I read it in English period novels.  So I assumed (naively) that it was a nice way of saying there was lots of (blush… ahem… you KNOW) and that both parties enjoyed themselves.

(I was standing in a card shop giggling at the wedding cards when my mom discovered my misunderstanding. Imagine the look on HER face.)

Today’s post is all about felicity.

I have five ideas to create more felicity in your marriage.

No no no.  Not the giggle blush kind.  Although I hope you have plenty of THAT in your marriage too.  But this isn’t THAT kind of blog.

I want to focus on how a strong and happy marriage is essential to me being a Happy Mom and finding Joy in Motherhood.

Yes, I know it’s supposed to be 31 days of Joy in Motherhood and this is day 19 of Joy.

If you aren’t married and are raising kids alone, you have my ultimate respect.  You have the hardest job in the world.  And probably the loneliest.  Just ignore me today, ok?

Here’s the deal.

The happier I am in my marriage, the happier I am as a mom.

Maybe that’s because my husband is more likely to do the dishes and take out the trash when things are felicitous.   Maybe it’s because he becomes protective of me and won’t tolerate the kids being disrespectful of his wife.  Maybe it’s because I feel more loved and appreciated, less overworked and isolated.

For whatever reason, I just know that it’s true.

I know that when my kids see my husband and I clearly loving each other, they are happier and more fun to be around.

I know that the most blissful, joyful times in my family have been the moments when Mr Engineer and I are connected and contented in our marriage.

If you’ve read my stories about my husband and his Engineering Disease, you know he’s not perfect.

Our twelfth wedding anniversary is next month.  I can’t imagine my life without him. sigh…

(sorry, i just got distracted.  thinking about him can do that to me.)

If you want more Joy as a mom, having more Joy in your marriage works.

Who wouldn’t want more joy in their marriage?

Five ideas for a more marital felicity

  1. Pray for your husband daily.  When I started praying for my husband, it was basically me nagging God instead of nagging my poor husband.  I would list out all the ways I was right and he was wrong and ask God to fix my husband.  Oh how my heart changed.
  2. Honor your husband.  Leave him a gap to be the leader of the home.  Acknowledge his head of the house status.
  3. Speak his love language and not just yours.  I once read some advice to give your husband a gift and card on the 14th of every month (not just in February).  I tried it, and my husband wasn’t impressed.  Cards and gifts aren’t his love language.  But when I tried the same trick with HIS love language, it worked like a charm.
  4. Have some boundaries.  My husband and I never fight about girls night or boys night.  I know what he won’t do.  He knows what I won’t say.  We know the rules and we follow them out of love and respect for each other.
  5. Make space.  Create space on the calendar that is specifically for your marriage (we do morning coffee twice a week as a cheap date).  Create space in your house (reclaim your bedroom).   Leave space in your conversations to talk about hopes and dreams and bigger stuff instead of your kids and your bills.

See? Nothing about shaving your legs or wearing uncomfortable under garments.  (although both are a good idea from time to time.)

Your “Joy Assignment” for the weekend is to pick ONE of these ideas and begin to implement it.

I’d love to know, what’s your advice for a happier, more felicitous marriage? 

And, am I the only person to giggle at the word felicity?

[author] [author_image timthumb=’on’]http://thishappymom.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/DSC_0036.jpg[/author_image] [author_info]Houston Mom Blogger Susan Baker has a passion for encouraging weary worn out mothers to find joy in everyday motherhood. She has two elementary school boys, one engineering husband, and one cat. She has a strange fascination  for eggs, socks, and books.  She spends far too much time on Social Media and at Target. She is crazy in love with her family.  She serves an amazing God.   She lives an ordinary life filled with wonder. [/author_info] [/author]

 

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Susan Baker
I have a passion for encouraging weary worn out mothers to find joy in everyday motherhood and peace in unlikely places. I have two elementary school boys, one nerdy husband, and two cats. I have a strange fascination for bad puns, the color pink, socks, and books. I worry about running out of toilet paper, wine, and chocolate.. I serve an amazing God. I live an ordinary life filled with wonder.
Susan Baker
Susan Baker

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Comments

  1. Good article, Susan. The five tips are very practical.

    I also try hard to protect my husband’s time. If he’s had a hard, busy week, I try not to schedule much, if anything, so he can relax. I can’t always work it out but I try hard.
    Patty recently posted..Toss the To Do List & Make a Done List InsteadMy Profile

    • Thank you Patty. Throughout this series, I’ve tried to give practical ideas that are easy to implement and actually make a difference. Your feedback made me smile.

      You have an excellent point. Protecting my husband’s time and helping him keep some semblance of balance in his life is important.

  2. {Melinda} Speaking the truth in love, bearing one another’s burdens … giving grace. I’m doing an EXCELLENT study on marriage right now that I highly recommend. It’s called Enhancing Your Marriage by Judy Rossi. It’s awesome. Can’t wait to dig into the Word with her each morning. 🙂
    Mothering From Scratch recently posted..treating family time like goldMy Profile

    • Yes. Speaking truth in love is a great tip. I’ve learned that when I can’t do that, I can always pray that God sends someone into my husband’s life that CAN. Probably the #1 thing I pray for my husband is that he find Godly counsel and friendship with other men. Knowing that other men will speak truth into my husband’s life makes it easier for me to let go of a lot of little naggy things. Make sense?

  3. I find that smiling at him and telling him I love him no matter how angry he gets or if we fight. Just that simple act makes a big difference.

    Those are great tips babe, thanks.
    karen recently posted..Look and walk over the junk.My Profile

  4. I loved this post! I am enjoying this joy adventure.
    Momma Can – Pam` recently posted..Free Printable Happy Holiday Bucket ListMy Profile

    • Thank you! The joy adventure from this side of the keyboard is proving to be a fun and wild ride. I’m hoping the J and Y letters on my keyboard don’t wear out. 🙂

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