Ten Commandments of Car Line

Welcome to back to school season and the craziness that accompanies it.

If you’re looking for a little more encouragement, perspective, or just clean fun then I’ve got some great blog posts for you. I’ve rounded up all of my favorite school themed posts in one easy location just to make it easier to find them all.

10 commandments of car lineWith back to school in full swing, it’s time for moms and dads to spend an hour of their day in car line.  Oh joy.  We all love car line so much!

As a car line veteran, I have a few pointers I’d like to share with the newbies.

As a public service, of course.

I started to write the rules in a slightly different way.

  1.  We do not talk about car line.

  2.  We DO NOT talk about car line.

But I decided not to.  Instead, I give you this:

The Ten Commandments of Car Line

  1.  Thou shalt not honk.

  2.  Thou shalt use thy smartphone responsibly (only when your car is in Neutral or Park).

  3.  Honor thy school rules.  Thy principal and his secretary know best.

  4.  Thou shalt wait until thy car pulleth away from the curb to ask how thy offspring’s day went.

  5.  Thy children shalt know the word “hurry” and move accordingly.

  6.  Thou art not special.

  7.  Thou shalt place thy claim ticket in thy window.

  8. Thou shalt not allow thy car to run out of gas idling in line.

  9. Thou shalt plan ahead.

  10. Thou shalt stay in thy vehicle.

what you really need to know about car line

The Ten Commandments of Car Line – Explained for Dummies

1.  Don’t honk.   It won’t make my car move.  I can’t move forward because… there is a car in front of me!  We’re all in line together, and you’ll be really embarrassed to look people in the eye at the next school function if you’re known as “the honker.”  The only possible exception is if the car in front of you is “the napper.”

2.  Using the smart phone while your car is moving is dumb.  Period.  Put the phone away before you run over my kid or hit my car, please.

  1.  You got a memo at the start of the year about how cars flow for drop off and pick up.  They told you no left turns were allowed as you exit the school grounds.  Follow the rules and quit trying to cut.

  2.  When you are actively picking up or dropping off, make it snappy.  The people behind you don’t want to wait while you give little Suzy a kiss or check Johnny’s backpack for his homework.

  3.  Kindergarten moms, if your child still needs help getting in and out of the car seat, you may need some speed drills at home.  Make it snappy people.

  4.  See #3 for starters.  But I’m also talking to YOU Mrs White European Sedan.  I see you every day.  You pull up to the visitor lot and park.  You walk over and grab your kid and leave.  Yes, that’s faster for you.  But it adds time for every single other mom behind you.

  5.  If you can’t keep up with the little numbered colored tag you were issued for your kids, at least make a reasonable attempt.  As long as you know the number and have a dry erase marker for the window, no one will get hurt.

  6.  Hey sis, this one’s for you.  (She actually Facebooked that she was afraid she would run out of gas in line… before getting in line!)

9.  Go potty and bring a book.  M’kay?  Mommies who need to potty do not get sent to the front of the line.  And doing the “walk of shame” to the front of the school while you leave your unattended car in line?  tsk.  (see #10).

10. Stay with your car.  Pay attention to the time.  If the car line starts rolling and you hold up the line because you were chatting, then rule #1 does not apply.

Confession:  As a kindergarten mom I violated every single one of these rules.  Even #8.  Twice.

And I did the walk of shame.

Don’t hate me.

Did I cover all the car line rules?  What’s your biggest pet peeve?

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Susan Baker
I have a passion for encouraging weary worn out mothers to find joy in everyday motherhood and peace in unlikely places. I have two elementary school boys, one nerdy husband, and two cats. I have a strange fascination for bad puns, the color pink, socks, and books. I worry about running out of toilet paper, wine, and chocolate.. I serve an amazing God. I live an ordinary life filled with wonder.
Susan Baker
Susan Baker

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  1. I’m the mom who gets out of her car to chat with all the other mommies in line. I can’t help it. It’s like a big receiving line. I like to walk up and down the line glad-handing like a politician.

  2. Dawn, I think every mom does that from time to time. It’s our only chance for social interaction some days! As long as you can make it back to your car before the line starts moving it’s all good.

    My worst moment? The day my car died in line. They tried to push it out of the way, but I drive a huge Excursion!
    susan recently posted..Ten Commandments of Car LineMy Profile

  3. Can I admit that I am scared about this car line for when Dinosaur starts school.
    karen recently posted..Liebster AwardMy Profile

    • You wouldn’t be a mom if you weren’t scared about that!

      I freaked the first day of kinder when my little baby boy was supposed to get out of my car, walk into the building, and get to his class on his own. And in the afternoon… shudder. The reality is that they had extra staff on hand to make sure the little ones got where they needed to go. The schools take car line seriously and take extraordinary measures to take care of your child.

      Dinoboy will be fine.

      Helpful hint – scope out a parking lot close to the school. Make sure you can pull in there and finish your first day cry in peace.

  4. Oh this is great, it has to be the best post I have read in a few weeks (ok, maybe a month). My mini-me doesn’t start until the day after Labor Day here in MI but I could so relate to so many of these from last year. Especially the car in front of me that thinks they can turn the wrong way and hold up everyone, the woman who thinks they can get their kids and move around you (thats cheating ya know)…oh like I said, too many to relate too.

    Irish Carter recently posted..Random Thoughts about my Bad HabitsMy Profile

    • We started last week. We have over 100 new families added to an already cramped parking lot from last year. It took 90 minutes to get through car line the first day. It was down to 30 minutes today, so they’ve fixed most of the problems. I wrote the draft for this while sitting in car line.

      Don’t you just want to print out a copy of the school’s car line map and hand it out to a few choice families?

  5. Emily @ TheBusyMomsDiet.com says:

    As a high school teacher, I would add:
    11. If the line monitor is waving you forward you have already failed. (that’s me with the flag pointing out the obvious that it’s time to move up)
    12. If your kids are going through puberty, don’t get out of the car for any reason. They have enough on their plate.

    Just kidding! We all have those days!
    Emily @ TheBusyMomsDiet.com recently posted..Teaching the Love of MusicMy Profile

  6. This year my 4th grader will be a bike rider. I know this will add to my grey hair.
    We’ve done 4 practices and he’s equipped with a cell phone. How did our mom’s do it? I mean I roamed all over creation when I was his age and the only expectation was to be back before the street lights came on. Time to cut the apron strings. I have my scissors ready….and a tissue.
    Leah @CodeRedHat recently posted..Little Brothers…My Profile

    • Leah, I remember riding my bike to school. I have no idea how my mom stood it! That was way before cell phones. I guess it was a different universe.

  7. Our car line is a nightmare. 3 lines merge into one. With NO directors. ugh. And one moron ALWAYS blocks the main road.
    Amy recently posted..Blog Hop Giveaway!!My Profile

  8. My kids are 14-21 now. They either walk the few blocks themselves or drive. I DO NOT miss the car line. At all!

    Happy Sharefest! And good luck.
    misssrobin recently posted..I Can StrengthenMy Profile

    • We do not talk about car line.

      No one misses car line. Do you pass people in car line and get a warm feeling because you aren’t there? 🙂

  9. I’m so glad my kids aren’t car riders! I had to do the car line a couple times last week to take my oldest daughter to middle school orientation and it was miserable. Fun post!

    Visiting from SITS.
    Katie E recently posted..After BedtimeMy Profile

  10. Nancy Evans Wahmhoff says:

    Omg! Maybe you should pass this out to the newbies! I am rofl!

  11. I totally love these rules. I think I saw some people breaking them this week at school. This post will be shared with my readers on Facebook and Google+ via a link.

    • Aw… thanks for the sharing! This post was written WHILE I was in car line (at least the first draft). It was a great outlet for my frustration. That was last year. In the 12 months since, there have been times I wanted to print the post out and hand it to every single car in line. ugh!

  12. These set of car line rules should be made into posters and handouts for the PTA meeting. They are lighthearted BUT they surely hit the spot as a reminder parent on vehicles. 😀

  13. Hi susann ,
    Its amazing …I have learn something from here.every should aware about car commandments .

    Thank you

  14. Peter the spammer says:

    Hi Susan! You gave some fabulous commandments of car line those are very much perfect and hope that everybody will follow your all the commandments properly. Superbly done:)

  15. dasharath says:

    when i see your complete web, im felling well and get some extra knowledge,,,, waiting for next updation

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